Love Is Not Over

Chapter 32

Kendall.

My room was filled by silence, sadness and sympathy. I smirk with my thoughts, why do life need to be so clever? What did i do to have this dying life. The thought of me sleeping in a coffin is really heart breaking.

I wish i can't, i don't want to leave this world this early. I still want to fulfill my dreams, being a great businessmen and having my own family. I sigh, hanggang pangarap nalang talaga ang mga yon. Sooner or later, i will die.

Sinubukan kong tumayo pero sumakit lang ang tuhod ko. What a life. Maya maya lang ay may kaluskos akong mga narinig kaya dali dali akong bumalik sa pagkakahiga.

I don't want to see her crying again and again. I always want to hear up her feelings at nagagawa kolang yon tuwing nagtutulog tulugan ako.

Naramdaman ko ang pagpasok nya, she quickly turn to me. Sat on the chair beside me and start crying again. I can clearly hear her sobs. I open my eyes slightly and i can see that she's really crying while holding my hand. It melts my heart, kung may magagawa lang sana ako sa sakit ko i will do everything just to stay with her until the very end.

Nakaramdam ako ng matinding kirot dahil sa pag angat ko sa isang kamay ko, but i don't care at all. I put my hands on her head and slowly caressing her hair. She look at me with shock while her eyes were full of tears.

"Umiiyak ka na naman." Puna ko then i smile sadly. I wiped her tears. "Dahil ba yan sakin? Am i really giving you a hard time?"

"No.. no.." umiiling nyang sabi habang umiiyak pa rin. I don't want to leave her like this.

"Shh tumahan ka na nga. Why are you crying huh?"

"I... just miss you..."

"Is it really me huh? Stop fooling me, you're always with me so how come that you miss me huh?"

"K-Kendall..."

"Im going to America." I said. Yes i will be at America. I will do my medication there, my family wants it. They want me to be healed even though they know that i already have my life span. "Am i being selfish if i ask you to come with me? To stay with me?" I know im being too much. It's just that urgh nevermind.

"P-pero Kendall...." i knew it!

I should accept it, na hindi lang sakin umiikot ang mundo nya. She still have her family and her boyfriend.

"It's okay Kryss. So we'll just meet again in heaven?" Gusto kong bawiin ang sinabi ko dahil nagsimula na naman syang umiyak. "Shhh. Are you not in good terms with your boyfriend? Is it because of me again? Im sorry..." sinubukan kong ibahin ang topic.

"Don't be sorry..." giit nya.

Simula una pa lang alam kong madalas nasilang nagkakaaway dahil sakin. Hindi ko alam kung magiging masaya ba ako dahil alam kong mas inuuna  ako ni Kryss, o maguilty dahil may nasisira na akong relasyon. Hindi ko naman ginusto and i will never wished for it. Gusto ko mang maging akin sya, hindi ko naman hihilingin na magkasira sila ng taong nagpapasaya sa kanya.

"I told you, im not your responsibility. You have your own life, fix your fight. Or gusto mo samahan kita? Ako na ang hihingi tawad, it's all my fault."

"No... Hindi na, ako na lang..."

"Alright." Hinagilap ko ang kamay nya at inilapat ito sa aking pisngi. "When im gone, please be happy. Don't get hurt."

"K-Kendall wag mong sabihin yan!" Umiiyak pa lalong suway nya.

They say, when you accept the truth hindi na sobrang sakit pagtagal, kaya eto sinusubukan ko. Pero bakit parang mas masakit pa din pala?

"Sing for me please..."

"Loving and fighting. Accusing, uniting. I can't imagine a world with you g-gone" nagsimula na naman syang umiyak at agad ko iyong pinahi, it feels like babagsak na din ang luha ko dahil sa pag iyak nya. "The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of I'd be so lost if you left me alone" i let her cold voice filled my lifeless room.

"You locked yourself in the bathroom
Lying on the floor when I break through
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming "p-please don't l-leave me." Tears came down from my eyes at mas nag iiyak na sya.

"H-hold on, I...still w-want you" she sing in between her sobs. "Come back, I s-still n-need you." She holds my hand tightly and cry over and over.
"Let me t-take your hand, I'll m-make it right. I s-swear to love y-you all my li--" Hindi na nya naituloy ang kanta dahil mas bumuhos ang kanyang emosyon at di na nakayan. Una kong pinawi ang luhang lumandas mula sa mata ko, pilit akong ngumiti.

"Shhh... Don't cry... Tama na."

"K-kendall p-please don't leave m-me..."

"I want to stay too, kung kaya lang utusan ang sakit na wag ako ang dapuan." I hug her tight, i don't want to leave her. "Im gonna miss you Kryss. Till we met again..." i said then loosen up my hug.

-----

Krystal

Nagpatuloy ang araw ko na may mabigat na pakiramdam. Kung maari ko lang sana syang samahan sa America, but i have things to do.

At ngayon ay aasikasuhin ko ang isa sa mga bagay na kailangan kong gawin.

Holding a cake in front of his condominium building. It's his birthday and i want to surprise him. Sana matuwa sya, hope he will be fine with my presence. Sana ay magka ayos na kami.

Inayos ko ang sarili ko, madilim na ang kapaligiran at ilaw nalang mula sa building ang nagbibigay liwanag sakin. Dapat ay kanina pa ako ditong hapon kaso ay ginabi dahil sa traffic. Inilabas ko na ang spare keycard, he give me this para daw pag napadpad ako sa Manila ay pwede akong pumasok doon.

I enter the elevator and press 9th floor. When the elevator opens, i rushly find he's room in this floor. At nang nasa tapat na ako ng pinto nya ay napatulala nalang ako.

Should i inform him that im coming? Tawagan ko kaya muna sya? Aish! Krystal Aem surprise nga diba! Pero bigla nalang akong kinabahan. Bakit ganito? Siguro kinakabahan lang ako dahil pano kung ipagtabuyan nya ako? Pano kung galit pa rin sya? Good  Vibes lang dapat! Alright he will be surprise and we will be alright!.

As the door open, dahan dahan akong pumasok dito habang hawak hawak ang cake na may nakasinding maliit na kandila at may nakasulat na 'Happy Birthday Babe!'. I try my best not to make sounds, sinalubong ako ng salas nya na tahimim lang. Sunod kong tinahak ang living room at bago pako makadating roon ay napatingin ako sa carpet at saka pinulot ang t shirt nya, napakakalat talaga oh!

Pagkatunghay ko ay parang binuhusan ako ng yelo at nanlamig ang aking tiyan. Tears drip from my eyes, at biglang namatay ang kandila.

Tell me this isn't true, namamalikmata lang ako diba? I should be the one who will surprise pero bakit ako pa ata yung nasurprise. Agad nag alab ang aking damdamin at parang sinaksak ng paulit ulit sa dibdib.

"A-ahh Grey~~~" a moan of a woman filled the room. Pumikit ako ng mariin at humigpit ang hawak sa pinaglalagyan ng cake. This isn't true,  its just a nightmare, please someone wake me up!

Sinubukan kong tumayo at hindi ko namalayan na natabig ko ang vase na nakapatong sa center table. Agad akong tumalikod and i feel that they notice my presence.

"Oh shit!" Mas naiyak ako ng madinig ang boses na iyon, parang pinipirasoraso ang ang aking puso. Nanatili akong nakatalikod, i can't bear to see their position. Shirtless Grey with unbutton pants leaning on a woman's naked body and kissing its neck.

I start walking, i don't need anyone's explanation its very crystal clear. Malinaw na ang lahat, hindi ako tanga. Someone holds my elbow, mas naiyak ako. Iniharap nya ako sakanya, sinubukan ko itong iwaksi ang mga mamay nya pero masyado akong mahina.

My tears were non stop flowing, he tried to wipe it pero iniiwas ko ang muka ko.

"Aem...Babe..." i look at him and all i can see is guilt. "I-im sor---" i cut him. Itinapon ko sa kanyang muka ang cake kong hawak hawak.