Why Don't We date already? | oneshots

the stars and our hearts

dedicated to sweetdr3am your fanfics are amazing, i love all of them. this is loosely based off of her book, escapade. go check it out, it's amazing and dope and awesome.

song used: all of me by john legend

warning: if you listen to all of me or youth by shawn mendes and khalid while reading, i promise you will cry. especially if its ten at night and there's no one else awake with you.

*****

My fingers trace his name on the tombstone. Corbyn Matthew Besson.

    "I hate you so much."

    I laughed dryly, a small tear running down my face.

    "You just had to die on me."

    I sighed, resting my chin on my arms. I lay on his grave, the grass tickling my bare skin, the flowers pushed away to reveal his tombstone. "Corbs, I didn't care about the fact that you had a terminal disease. I just wanted to spend time with you before it took all of you away. You understand that?"

*****

Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all, all of me
And you give me all, all of you

*****

    "You're so beautiful," Corbyn whispered. "I'm so sorry."

    "Corbs, don't be," I said, tears prickling at the corners of my eyes as I hugged him close to me. "You're not sorry."

    "Even when you're crying, you're beautiful," he whispered, stroking my hair. His shirt slowly became wet under my cheeks as my tears fell onto him.

    "Even when the world is beating you down, I'll be there," he hummed. "I'll be around through every move."

    "Corbyn, please don't say that. You'll live, I promise."

    "You're my downfall, you're my muse," he sang softly. "My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues. I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you."

    "Corbyn," I whimpered, clutching him closer to my chest. "I-I love you. So much."

    "I love you too, Christina," he said, his voice cracking.

*****

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all, all of you
Give me all of you

*****

    "C-Corbyn," I stuttered out, tears streaming down my face. "I absolutely, one hundred percent hate you."

    I sobbed into my arms right next to his grave. "You could've gotten help. You could've gotten a blood transfusion or something. Instead, you decide that you want to live out your life and then let the disease take you. Fuck the fact that it wouldn't have changed anything. It would've given you time."

    "It's hard to live without you, Corbs. You've been there for me. I want to kiss you again, hug you, hold you, whisper 'I love you' to you again. But it's just so damn hard, knowing that you're too far away for me to do any of that.

    "I miss you, Corbyn. I miss you so damn much. You changed me in so many ways. I wish that you would be there for our hypothetical kids and our hypothetical grandchildren. I want you here.

    "But yet you are still a stubborn idiot." I chuckled to myself. "Corbyn, I love you so much, you dumbfuck. Even when you were being an insufferable little kid, you still wanted to be noble and brave and all of that shit. I hate you, and love you so damn much, for it."

    I turned onto my back, my face facing the stars. His favorite thing to talk about. I closed my eyes.

    "C-cards on the t-table we're both showing hearts," I softly sang. "Risking i-it a-all though i-its hard."

*****

'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you
I give you all, all of me
And you give me all, all of you