[OLD] Open Minds - Book 1 - Goldie x Reader/OC(Pheonix)

Chapter 10: Screw the world, Fuck it, Cut it, Part 1 (and an A/N at the end)

⚠WARNING: The following is not appropriate for readers that are easily disturbed! There will be self harm and depressing thoughts in this chappie! If you are fine with reading this type of shiz, carry on.  Just don't say that I didn't warn you! Also a decent length Author's Note at the end.(decent by my standards, anyway)⚠

Phoenix's POV

  Barely conscious from the pain, I weakly crawl to my room, still holding the Nutella cup in my mouth.  I silently shut the door.

  I don't have enough energy to get up and go on my bed, so I sit next to it. As I open my Nutella, something glitters, just out of my range of vision.

  Turning, I see the magenta handle of my pocket knife. I- how is this possible?!  I threw that thing out over two years ago, right after Jeremy and I made the oath.  Why is it here? How is it here?!

  I turn away and eat three of the Nutella bread sticks when it flashes again, brighter this time.

  I turn towards it again, but this time, curiosity is flaring in my chest.  As I watch it, it flashes again.  I glance around my room to make sure that nothing was reflecting off of it. 

  Setting down my Nutella, I grab the knife and open it.  Holding it close to my face in the dim light, I can see a faint red mark along the blade, evidence and a reminder of past mistakes. 

'Or,' I think, 'Of future corrections.'  My eyes dart to the scars on my wrists, then back to the blade. 'Jere did it.  He broke the oath. He started again and he's weaker than me.' I pause my train of thoughts. 'No. He's stronger than me.  He usually tries to fight back.  I don't.'  More and more thoughts circle my mind, the sluggishness fading.  I look at my wrists again. 

  Ya know what?  Fuck it.  Screw the world.  I put the blade to my wrist, and it feels like live electric is running through my body, which isn't much of a stretch.  I press down harder, and break the skin.  Dark red blood seeps out of the line that I made.  I make five lines on each arm, and each time I think, 'Fuck it.  Fuck me.  Fuck the world.  I'm useless, a waste of space.'  

  Finally, when I start to feel dizzy from the blood loss, I set the knife down and wrap my new scars.  As I look for my phone I have one last thought. 'A mistake....'

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  Hoi, I'm Temmie!! JK, JK! Please don't kill me for this! This is for Author~Chan's friend, who's dealing with things.  Oh, dear lord.  I'm talking in third person like Kawaii~Chan.  Anyway, sorry for not being active. I lost my phone for the week, so I'm typing this on the school computers.  But, I should have my phone back by tomorrow.  The next chapter will be in Jeremy's POV, and will be part 2 to this. 

  I don't really know what I'm doing with this book so far, but thank you guys so much for the support! It means a lot to me!   Don't worry, Phemy/Jerenix is cute, but it is not the main ship of the book, as you can tell by the title.  It isn't even really a ship, just something that I created while I was bored.  Goldie X Phoenix is still the actual ship. 

  And, before you ask, the Animatronics will appear somewhere around chapters 13, 14, or 15.  Springtrap and SpringBonnie do have animatronic forms, as does Nightmare and several other characters that I have yet to introduce, or other's secrets that have yet been revealed.  There may also be Moxy, Fonnie, Bonica, Chica x Freddy, and other ships.  Also, before I forget, and so that they won't kill me, the animatronics, Night Watchers, Phoenix and Jeremy say HELLO. Yeah....  So, that's all for now,Little Spirits!  See you all next time!  Ciao!

0w0(I can't do the heart emojis on the computer, soooo.....) <3<3(There you go!)