Out of her league

Chapter 51

Tanya's POV

Sidd's face turned stoic and hard. His jaw twitched and hardened. His eyes stared right through me. His eyes were red and his veins were bulging beneath his neck. He raised an eyebrow with a questioning look and his mouth quickly turned into a mirthless smirk; the sadness and desperation conveyed through his eyes, long gone. I involuntarily gulped with the thought of the possibility of Josh lying to me for a whole few weeks. This was not possible. Had everything been been a lie? What was I angry for? My head started spinning and my conscience started bombarding me with questions. Just stop it, you stupid brain. I cleared my throat. "So you are.. um, saying that Sidd did not treat you badly?... and that he never ditched you or cheated on you or whatever?" I didn't even know why I was asking these questions anymore. What's the point?

Dahlia looked annoyed. I could see that expression in her face even through the multiple layers of makeup. Her face held those weird kind of wrinkles when her face scrunched up in annoyance. "Sidd would never ever do that to any woman! Why would he ever do that to me? Guys, I don't really get why she's asking me these idiotic questions. Can someone just explain to me?" She sounded so confused. But all I could think about was how much I had messed up. I had messed up my ... friendship with Sidd. I could believe Josh; the very person who scarred my heart when I was young and the one who tried to forcefully kiss me at the pub that day. But I just couldn't believe Sidd. And I have to admit that it was because I was too scared to trust him. Life was no fairytale where a handsome, nice, cute and funny guy like Sidd could just come into my life and sweep me up as if I'm the most precious thing that he had ever seen. When he said he loved me back, I could never fully believe him. Because why would that lucky person be me when all I have done is be rude to him and all I am is imperfect?

I was falling hard and falling fast for him. But my heart couldn't believe it. And that day when Josh told me those things, it was more believable. It was way more believable than him loving me for what I was. And so I believed it. Now I was standing here regretting all those life choices.

"Nothing Dahlia, just wanted to clear someone's misconceptions about me and prove to them how wrong and judgmental they were" Sidd finished. His eyes did not meet mine and he had that cold smirk. His cold demeanour seeped through my vacant heart and it was too painful to bear. The person who could once fill my heart with comforting warmth seemed to have completely vanished from my life.

Then it dawned on me that Josh had always ruined my life. How dare he? He thought he could just come into my life at random times and just mess up whatever good things I had in life? Why? I did the first thing that came to my mind.

Thud!

My fingerprints imprinted on his cheek with a red mark. "I do not wish to talk to you and I think it will be good for you if you leave without further non-existent explanations on how honest and innocent you are. And also a big f*ck you to have messed up my life again when I just started trusting you as my friend. I'm so glad I do not feel any love for you at all. Now get out," I was panting by the time I finished. "Tan-" he started so I interrupted, "shut up you- never mind just go away,". His eyes held so much emotions. Pain, guilt, regret and a look of tender affection for me. I am not going to believe that bullshit. Never. His eyes were trying to look through me; trying to decipher my thoughts. But I stared back with my eyes trying to burn him with fumes. It worked. With his shoulders sagged, he finally reluctantly moved to the entrance of the house.

"Are you done with this drama? I must say though, it was pretty entertaining," Sidd spoke and let out a humourless laugh. It was like talking to a different person. It wasn't him. "Sidd, listen I'm sorry and please let me-" shit my eyes are starting to water. But before I could continue, he spoke up again, "Oh look, now you are crying. Oh no! How about nobody gives a damn shit about it? I just wanted to clear some misconceptions and I'm done. With you everything related to you. By the way, I would really appreciate if you don't show your face at all. That would be of great help."

He walked away to his room and slammed the room door shut.

Along the way he crushed my heart too.