Out of her league

Chapter 55

Tanya's POV

"Try my fried rice pleeeeaasseee," I tried again but failed to convince him again. He just shook his head at me and chuckled. He chuckled when I folded my arms and looked at him sternly. What's so funny again? "This is not funny! You are such a mean prick! Do you know how much time did I take to prepare this thing?" A very disgraceful scoff escaped my lips. Dear god, why do these embarrassing sounds come out from my mouth? Please explain this "phenomenon"?!?!? Well, but I actually don't care if I sound like a pig because I'm not here to please anyone. WHAT A LIAR. Shut up, stupid heart.

"Okay," his hands went up in a surrender motion and he chuckled yet again. "I will eat it, you happy?" He asked before taking a spoonful of my precious fried rice. I couldn't stop the WIDE grin from appearing on my face. "Faster try it!! Tell me how it tastes like," I clapped my hand in excitement. I probably sounded like a little child excited upon going to a carnival; but whatever. His brown eyes twinkled in amusement and he dramatically raised the spoon to his mouth slowly. I would have rolled my eyes if not for my uncontrollable excitement. But the last time I checked, the fried rice didn't look so good though... nahh, it should be good.

"Can you stop staring at my mouth? It's making me uncomfortable," he complained playfully just before he ate the fried rice. Idiot. "Come on, seriously?" He just laughed when I asked that and FINALLY ate the rice.

His face expression morphed into one of utter disgust towards the plate of fried rice and he looked at it like he was going to murder it. His face shrunk and he after a long eternity, Sidd finally gulped the spoonful that he ate. Oops?..."Um, Sidd... I am sorry?..are you okay?" My questions seemed silly even for me. His eyes finally darted towards mine and he gave me the look. "Of course Tanya, I'm fine! You should eat it too, you know?" He replied and a smirk made its way onto his face. Oh hell no.

"Nah, it's okay I don't want to eat it. It's really fine," I started backing away. "And where are you going off to?" His raised his eyebrows in amusement. His brown eyes were shimmering with mischief. He started approaching me. Oh no. Oh no. "Sidd, stop!" He stopped for a few seconds after my sudden shriek. Run, Tanya!

All I had to do was go to my room, slam the door and I would be safe. But God had other plans for me. A strong arm encircled my waist. I'm an actual idiot. "Gotcha," Sidd whispered in my ears. I felt tingles on the crook of my neck. His breath was dangerously fanning my earlobes. I'm in deep trouble. "Can you stop whispering things in my ear? It's annoying," I failed miserably in convincing him with that lie as my voice wavered too much. Urgh. I struggled to get out of his grip but his grip just became tighter. I could feel heat coursing through me with the physical contact and his chest was pressed up against my back. How did I end up here? I already knew I couldn't try to escape him anymore because the more I tried to escape, the tighter he will hold me and that was definitely not good. That would be nice though... Nope, not nice.

He used both his arms to wrap around my waist and carried me but I was still frantically moving my legs and arms to make his job difficult. A laughter erupted from his mouth and his whole chest reverberated with the sound. I would love to get out of this intimate position right now before my brain starts to hallucinate things.

"Good try, sweetheart," he voiced as he let me down. I turned around and tried to run again but he caught me by my waist again. What was with him touching my waist? "Can you stop touching my waist, Sidd?" Did I actually ask him that question?

He choked on his own spit and coughed abruptly. Awkward. He momentarily took his hands away from my waist but put it back again with a smirk reappearing on his face. "Stop smirking," my voice wavered yet again. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" He questioned while wiggled his eyebrows. Yes, but he certainly didn't need to know that.

I just rolled my eyes. "Fine, I will eat that stupid fried rice that I made," I sighed and ate a spoonful of that awfulness. I tried to keep my face neutral but could feel my face scrunching up and I was pretty sure I looked so ugly with that expression on my face.

I peeked to see Sidd's arm still around my waist. As I peered into his eyes, his pupils were dilated and they were a beautiful shade of wood brown with beautiful specks of gold that looked like Tinkerbell's pixies. He had a beautiful light-hearted smile on his face as he peered into the depths of my eyes.

"You are so beautiful," he smiled as he said that and finally released me out of his grip.

I was definitely imagining everything. Or he was definitely lying. I could never be beautiful. It was too much of a strong word. I wasn't pretty and I knew it.

"You are so ugly that even a pig looks prettier than you"

"Your face disgusts me."

"Look at you, so pathetic"

"Tanya, I don't actually like you."

Tears sprang to my eyes. I knew that my childhood bullying had nothing to do with him. But I can't forget them. I can't easily forget my insecurities that they have pinned on me and accept myself the way I am. I don't think I could ever trust anyone who give me compliments because they were most probably not true. Primary school was full of self-loathing because I was bullied everyday. My insecurities grew bigger and bigger and now it's so big it can never be fully erased. In secondary school, just when my scars were healing and I thought that someone finally could like me for what I was, I was elated. It was an indescribable feeling of happiness and sweetness. That was also short lived; giving me deeper scars that would last forever. Nobody could ever love me. That was nearly impossible.

The sudden frown on my face brought him confusion. His eyebrows etched together and he was looking at me for answers. "Did I say something wrongly?" He asked with a tinge of frustration laced in his voice.

He didn't say anything wrongly. It was just my insecurities pricking me.

"No, nothing." I replied and walked away before my inner battle started to prick me with my insecurities and also tell me that I should have accepted his compliment, start to trust him and change for the better.