Chivalry Is Dead | Taekook

Chapter 1

CHIVALRY IS DEAD | TAEKOOK

the computational constituents of ciphering a cutthroat archrivalry, you wonder?

simple; an epic fail of a plan, a crossdressing mishap, a never-seen-before dare, derelict parents, circulation of the latest dish by gossipmongers, and a drunken mistake — duh.

side effects may entail inclination to stupidity and crackheadness, proneness to jealousy, confused sexualities, and an addiction to your worst enemy.

and, oh, persons with complex history and unresolved issues are advised against adopting this method — if they do not wish to develop any diseases of the heart.
otherwise, proceed.

❝ chivalry, you ask? well, it died with our friendship. ❞

WARNING
THIS CRACKFEST CONTAINS

✦ vkook as insolent enemies who are a pain in the ass for everyone around them ( even the principal )
✦ buckets full of drama bordering on downright crack
✦ slightly complex plotline, heavy angst, fluff and romance - which i hope cancels out the amount of anguish and heartache
✦ side ships ( yoonmin + namjin + others )
✦ high-school / boarding school setting
✦ loads of smut
✦ uncensored swearing & strong language
✦homophobia / use of homophobic slurs
✦ mature content.

also, there's a vivid description of poop in chapter 1 (i'm only giving you guys a heads up since people can't handle shit. quite literally)

if any of this makes you uncomfortable, then kindly click out of the book.
if not, then enjoy.

GOLDENCLOSETFICS  ©  2018

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"That's some good shit right there. Good job, Kim."

Jungkook's voice rang throughout the otherwise empty restroom — save for his own presence and his four friends; aka, partners in crime.

Majority of them were congregated around the cubicle which was previously occupied by Jungkook's self-proclaimed 'best friend', Kim Yugyeom; hence, the extolling comment.

"Wow, you poop a lot. It's almost overflowing." Another one in the group added, namely Bambam: the svelte, silver-haired boy, who also happened to be the only person amongst the gang who sported a thick mop of dyed tresses atop his head.

This certain observation was said out loud by the boy while peeking inside the toilet bowl, and that, apparently, agitated Yugyeom, since it was his handiwork that was being critiqued.

Turning around to face his shorter friend, Yugyeom fixed him with a scowl while still doing the buttons on his pants. "I do not poop a lot; just the normal amount, like everyone else."

"You really don't need to justi—" Bambam was cut off mid-sentence, and he helplessly looked around for some support, only to realise that he and Yugyeom were the only ones stood in the cubicle as Jungkook had moved to the area housing the washbasins and other cleaning supplies.

"It's all because of that pain in the ass, Mr. Yang. He didn't let me use the restroom for two whole periods"—Yugyeom even put up two fingers to lay emphasis on his words to which Bambam only sighed—"thinking that I was joking when I told him that I have diarrhoea. He thought that I wanted to disrupt his class." He then scoffed, and Bambam wanted tell him that their teacher hadn't been wrong for thinking that, since that was what their entire gang of friends was famous for—i.e. causing trouble—but he held back. "I hope he chokes on a piece of Lego and slips into a coma or something."