5sos One Shots

Calum BGM - Youngblood

~A/N~ YOUNGBLOOD IS OUT AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH! In order to celebrate, I'm writing a song preference for each one and (hopefully) putting out one each day! This is 'Youngblood'
Enjoy the chapter!
Leila xx

Calum (21):
Remember the words you told me, "love me 'til the day I die?"
Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine
Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you're calling me by name
Takes one to know one, yeah, you beat me at my own damn game

You had promised yourself it wouldn't get serious. What you had with Calum was a game, a dance on poised toes where either of you could trip at any time, and you found yourself stumbling slightly too far.

You fell, and you fell for him.

It started off as fun, but you found yourself craving Calum's love and warmth as you cuddled closer to him in the dark of night.

"Baby?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled, tired features obscured by the absence of light.

"Hold me."

He pulled you into his chest and you sighed. "I love you, Y/N."

If only that were true. Still, you couldn't help yourself as the question blurted out. "Until we die?"

"'Til death do us part," he chuckled, leaning back into the mattress.

But it was only a game to him, and you wouldn't be a pawn while you drifted off into an ocean of unrequited love.

***
You push and you push and I'm pulling away, pulling away from you
I give and I give and I give and you take, give and you take

You had been pushing for so long, he noticed that. And surprisingly, he found himself loving you, this wasn't just a mindless game any longer and he finally opened himself up to you, believing you were his.

But then, you broke away and he was left vulnerable and wounded, crying out for more as your relationship was chipped away into irreplaceable pieces.

His first shred of realisation came when you stopped calling him baby. It was shattering him - he really thought there was something there, so he went full in. He gave everything to you, showed you his fears and his flaws and his secrets until he was ripped red and raw, but if this was a game you were going to win.

So you took Calum's heart, and you lapped up his pain and fled, unable to hold in your heartbreak as you dragged yourself up from where you fell for him.

***
Lately our conversations end like it's the last goodbye
Then one of us gets too drunk and calls about a hundred times
So who you been calling baby, nobody could take my place
When you're looking at those strangers, hope to God you see my face

You both knew it was coming to an end. The relationship was growing too toxic for you to handle, and it was only a matter of time before someone snapped. Each conversation lingered for too long as you desperately clung to the shadow of a boy who was poison for you.

The nights were spent in clubs, trying to drown your feelings in alcohol as you grinded with other boys and attempted to forget your situation with Calum. But he was everywhere, in the eyes and lips of strangers who tasted and smelled just like the boy in your mind.

So at the end of the night, you would always end up dialling the unforgettable number and crying down the phone to a voice that didn't really care.

But Calum was hurting too, and his nights were spent drinking with the boys where he could hear shadows of your voice in theirs, and smell the sweet scent of your shampoo lingering over his sofa. If it wasn't you, it was him calling up drunk so you woke to hundreds of missed calls in your notifications.

It was only a matter of time.

***
Youngblood,
Say you want me, say you want me out of your life
And I'm just a dead man walking tonight
But you need it, yeah you need it
All of the time

If you said the words, he would leave.

"Just say it. Say you want me out of your life, and I won't come back," he spat at your feet, but you could see the pain in his coffee eyes. "I won't feel it. Can't you see, you've broken me? I'm a dead man. That's it, I'm a dead man walking."

He laughed like a madman, and you found yourself in a similar situation. Just a small sentence, and it would be the end; the danger would be gone.

But you couldn't. You needed him too much.

"I don't want you gone," you said quietly.

***
Youngblood,
Say you want me, say you want me back in your life
So I'm just a dead man crawling tonight
'Cause I need it, yeah I need it
All of the time

And Calum knew it was a lie, he knew you were playing a stupid game while he was tied up in a knot of complicated emotions, but he couldn't help it.

He needed to hear those simple instructions from you so he could leave and know it was for the best, but you were still playing with him. And if you wanted him in your life, he would crawl back to you.

Because Calum didn't want to admit it, but he needed you.