5sos One Shots

Ashton BGM - Want You Back

~A/N~ This is so much fun why have I never written a song preference before?
Enjoy the chapter!
Leila xx

Ashton (22):
Can't help but wondering if this is the last time that I see your face
Is it tears or just the fucking rain?

You saw Ashton several times after the breakup. Things had turned sour, he was always away or partying, he wasn't the charming boy you had fallen in love with, but it was still painful to see his face again and be reminded of everything you lost.

So when you caught his eye across the room in the park where you had spent so many dates, you couldn't help the tears leaking from your eyes as he stared into your soul, seeming to try and memorise every tiny detail on your face while you stood stock still.

The heavens opened and droplets poured as he finally gained the courage to approach you - at least you could blame the rain for your tears.

Wish I could say something,
Something that doesn't sound insane, but lately I don't trust my brain
You tell me I won't ever change
So I just say nothing.

Ashton missed you, he was sure it was as clear as day on his face. And there were tears trickling down your cheeks, but perhaps it was the rain; you were the one that ended it, why would you be upset?

Still, he had to say something, anything that could get you back.

"I miss you," he blurted out, the words spilling through his lips before he could stop them.

"What?" he didn't miss the tremble in your voice, though you contained yourself well. "Well I. Don't. Miss. You."

Each of your words sent a bullet through his heart, and his insides crumbled but you weren't stopping.

"I miss the old Ashton, the one that giggled at everything and spent time with me and truly loved me. This new Ashton is who you are now, and you won't ever change."

He was left speechless, for what could he say? Your words were true, he knew where he went wrong and it was too late to fix it. Although he wished he had shouted after you as you strode away, his feet stayed glued to the floor with his lips clamped shut.

It would be futile anyway.

***
No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back
No matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back.
I know you know I will never get over you,
No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back.

Days stretched into weeks, which stretched into months, and Ashton still missed you. It seemed that with every passing hour you drifted further away from him, into another beautiful world away from heartbreak and pain, but he couldn't move on.

With each city he visited on tour, he only imagined what it would be like to be there with you. With each night, he imagined lying on the roof and pointing out stars that weren't as bright as the ones in your eyes.

And the worst thing was you knew he couldn't get over you.

In the end, you were the winner.

***
I remember the freckles on your back,
And the way that I used to make you laugh
'Cause you know every morning I wake up,
Yeah I still reach for you

"Y/N?" Ashton sighed happily, waking up to you clinging onto him like a koala. "I love you."

"I love you, too," you said, smiling slightly as he kissed you on the head.

"I'm not two, I'm a grown man!"

A snort erupted from your mouth at the awful joke - his words weren't funny, it was the way he dissolved into uncontrollable giggles afterwards that sent you into hysterics. No matter what he said, he could always make you laugh.

"This is a dream," Ashton realised with a start. What you had was over, it had been months since he had even seen your face, so why did he remember every detail so clearly? Why did he still reach for you every morning?

I remember the roses on your shirt,
When you told me this would never work
You know even when I say I moved on,
Yeah, I still dream for you

It was then the dream took a dark turn, and your breakup played clearly through his mind. He could see every stitch of each tiny rose on your t-shirt, and he could hear the exact tremor in your voice that acted as a dam against all the emotions ready to flow out.

"This will never work, Ash," you said firmly. "We can't keep doing this, it's not right anymore."

He could still feel his heart disintegrating in his chest, bringing a new wave of pain every night with every new dream, and he could pretend he had moved on but he still had to hear your voice whenever he closed his eyes.

And the truth was, he would never move on.