Unexpected

Returning to Headquarters

I was silent the whole drive back to the airplane hangar, silent as I was escorted out of the black car and into the plane, and silent as I plopped down in a seat and waited for takeoff, brooding over today, the past week, everything that had happened since that day in the park that felt so far away now. The entire way I didn't speak and I refused to look any of the combat men in the eye. Not sure if I was angry at them, at Loki, at the S.H.I.E.L.D. specialized group, or at myself, I decided just not to speak at all lest I start breaking down. These men had taken me away from the scene, away from Loki, Loki was off starting an alien war for world domination and almost shot that old German man, the agency people, spangled man, and lady from the aircraft were fighting Loki, and then here I was, useless and unable to choose. What side was I on?

My heart lay with Loki. That much was obvious. I had fallen for him even though I knew what he was planning, what he was willing to do, I loved him because I knew that's not all he was, not all he could be, but I also knew that this was wrong. I had to stop what he was doing. People are going to get hurt. I can't just back him up because I love him, what about the millions that might die from an alien invasion? Could Loki really deceive and control an entire army and this powerful titan? What about S.H.I.E.L.D.? Who and what were they exactly? Would they kill Loki or fall into his plan? Weren't they the good guys? Shouldn't I try to help them? I felt like my insides were being torn in opposite directions.

"There you are." Mrs. Burgenstein said coming from the back room of the airplane, putting her hands on her general hip area as she came to glare at me, "Your lipstick is all but wiped off! What were you doing? Licking your lips from all the chocolate covered strawberries you were chowing on at that party? Macking on some poor fella?"

"Not now, Mrs. Burgenstein." I said clearing my throat.

"What a rude thing you are. I haven't all day, girl. There's a magazine article on double loop knitting I want to get back to reading, so come with me and we'll get you back to normal before you ruin that dress."

"Please, not now." I said a little louder, my tone sounding particularly harsh even to my own ears.

Mrs. Burgenstein looked absolutely astonished at me, he eyes bulging and looking three times their size from the magnifying glass affect her thick glasses had on her. She blinked at me twice, then spun around on her heel, huffing under her breath, "After all I did for her making her look somewhat presentable, she starts snapping at me! Not even a thank you! Why do I even bother?"

I sighed and stared back out the window at the black sky as we flew through the night for a minute or two before heading to the back room where Mrs. Burgenstein made a point of not acknowledging my existence as I gathered up my clothes from before and went into the bathroom that was in the small hall connecting the two airplane chambers. Pulling the diamond tipped bobbin pins from my hair; I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked really very pretty on the outside, still like a belle who just came back from a ball, but on the inside I felt all twisted and confused. After running my fingers through my hair I scrubbed my face of the makeup except for the mascara that was apparently waterproof. Then, I slipped out of my dress, hanging it on the door as I threw on my t-shirt and capris and tying on my convers. I reached around my neck to undo the clasp of the necklace whose chain was just short enough that I couldn't quite get it off over my head, then slowly let my arms drop. I'd keep that on. It was a gift. I handed Mrs. Burgenstein the dress and heels before grabbing my phone and headphones that I had had to leave on the plane while we'd gone out and went back to the front room to take my seat again, deciding I didn't want to keep company with the grouchy, gray haired woman.

Dropping into my chair I looked around at the combat ready men sitting in a line, their eyes as vacant as before, like everything that had just happened in Germany hadn't happened at all. Sometimes I wished I could be like them, empty headed without all of these cares and thoughts jumbling up inside my mind. One of the men turned his gaze onto me and I quickly averted my eyes, not wanting to make eye contact with him, just as Clint entered the room from the front of the plane. In his hand was an odd case which he sat on the ground as he took the seat across from me at the small table I was sitting at.