Unexpected

A Nightmare Come True

When the super soldier and the assassin spy made their goodbyes for the night I thanked them for their kindness, promising to see them tomorrow. I smiled and laughed, nodding my head as we gave our farewells. I wasn't sure if I had them convinced or not, but once my door was closed I noticed just how exhausted I was. It had been a long, long day. So much had happened. It was hard to believe that just this morning I'd been rushing the little neighbor girls out of the door... aw shoot! I forgot to bring them their banana zucchini bread and spare blankets and everything! I'd have to drop those off in the morning. As I headed back to the shower, feeling like I needed one more cleansing before bed, I quickly typed out a text to their mother apologizing. This shower was much faster and much hotter. When I stepped out of the steaming bathroom I could see how my skin had turned pink from the heat. Those invisible hands were gone, practically boiled off. I sighed, pulling on my loose pajamas before crawling into my bed.

The sheets were freezing in comparison to my body. I let my mind wander over work as I stared into the blackness of my room, pulling my covers up to surround me almost like a cocoon. I let myself plan out how I'd have to leave earlier for work than usual to give the girls their things back and what projects I needed to work on. I thought about how I should probably call my grandparents, what I would wear tomorrow, and what I would do to thank Steve and Natasha for their kindness and company tonight. They had tried so hard to support and comfort me. A small smile crept over my lips at the thought of them. I was lucky to have them I guess we really were a bunch of broken people trying to protect others from breaking like we had. When would we heal? When would I heal?

I allowed my mind to wander anywhere it wished, except to that one topic, to him, to what he did. He was locked up in a cell now. He couldn't hurt me. He'd pay for his crimes. I should be free of him. I shouldn't shake at the sight of him or feel the instinctual fear of prey, the flight-response, at the mere thought of him. I shivered. Stop it. He's not here. I'm safe. I'm strong.

"Are you now?"

Jolting up on my mattress I whipped my head around in the darkness of my room. I hadn't heard that. I must have just started slipping into sleep and my mind was messing with me, waking me up again in a cruel joke of its own. My ears pricked, waiting for any noise, any hint at the presence of another. I heard nothing, but still... the hairs at the back of my neck prickled as if I was being watched. Slowly, I leaned over to my bedside table, eyes searching uselessly over the shadowy blackness of my room.

Flicking the light on I tensed, ready for anything to be there, ready to fight, but there was no one. There was my dresser where the girls' blankets were folded beside my stash of makeup, lotion, and other products. There was my window with its curtains hanging shut, blocking the light of the moon from entering my room. There was my closet with the doors shut. Everything was in order.

I felt almost like I should laugh at myself for getting so freaked out, like I had expected the horrifying shadowy beings from my dreams to come bursting out from the corners of my room. My heart hammered in my chest, still trying to calm down from my fright, and yet my fingers were chill against the flesh of my chest as I placed them there to try to calm myself down, my nervous laugh coming out breathier than I had planned. How cruel my mind was, tricking me into thinking that it was his voice. How would I ever get to sleep if, even when I tried against it, my mind insisted on trailing over thoughts of Ed? Plopping down again against my pillow I draped my arm over my eyes. Sweat had gathered on my forehead. I really needed to take cooler showers.

"I need to go to sleep." I mumbled aloud to myself, turning over toward my bedside light again.

"What? And ignore me?"