Unexpected

Clinging to a Promise

His smile faded away as quickly as his voice had trailed off as he took in the sight of me as I dropped my stance to fall back onto the floor. His signature smirk was swept away into a look of confused distress as his eyebrows furrowed and his thin lips parted, completely nonplussed, his emerald eyes searching me. "Penelope... what has happened?"

Tears welled up in my eyes again as I looked up at him. He was here. It was like my very breath was caught up in my throat as I shook my head, my lips trembling. I couldn't speak. If I did, I knew my tears would finally escape my eyelashes.

In two long strides, he was right in front of me, dropping down on one knee to be down closer to my eye level, his eyes softening, full of concern, trying to discern what was wrong. I turned my head down at his advance, trying to hide the tear tracks that had already stained my cheeks.

"Darling..." His voice had softened, the silver tones of his voice soothing as I sucked in a ragged breath, still shaking my head. I loved it when he called me 'Darling'. I loved the sound of it on his tongue, how gently he spoke it like each syllable was precious, "Penelope, look at me. What is wrong?"

Slowly I lifted my face, my blurry vision making it difficult for me to see the definition of his features. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my quaking lips as I whispered, "They're gone."

His brows furrowed further, "What?"

'They're gone." I repeated a little louder, the huskiness of my voice left over from my previous crying making me sound as if I was sick. My sight cleared a bit after I blinked, setting my tears free to race down my cheeks as I continued to look up at him, trying to push out my words in between deep breaths as I tried to choke back my sobs, "My grandparents... th-they were in an accident... they didn't make it."

Understanding flashed across his eyes. "Oh, Penelope..."

"It wasn't supposed to happen this way." My voice cracked again, "Not yet. I'm not ready for them to be gone. I'm not ready to be alone." No matter how many people came to the door with casseroles and no matter how many cards I received, the deep loneliness and feeling of abandonment had sunk deep into the recesses of my grieving mind as I had worked throughout the house today. The memories that had flooded my mind with every piece of furniture and every book and photo only served to remind me how painfully quiet and still and empty the house was. Biting my lip, I gripped the fabric of my sweatpants as I tried not to crumble to pieces

"Penelope, I am so sorry." Loki whispered, reaching out his hands towards my face to cup my cheeks, his thumb moving to wipe my tears from them, but just before his fingers would have grazed my skin; he quickly yanked them back, panic momentarily flickering across his face.

A terrible cold gripped the pit of my stomach as quickly as Loki's hands had jerked away from me, a realization and remembrance settling like frozen metal in my guts as I turned my face away, staring down at my hands on my thighs before squeezing my eyes shut to hold back a new flood of tears. Suddenly, each thump of my heart ached as if an old scar had been torn open. How could I have forgotten? Loki wasn't here. Not really. Even though I could see him and hear his voice, he wasn't really in this room with me. I was still the only living being in this house that seemed to suffocate me with the fact that two of the people I love most had left me in this world while they had moved on. Even though Loki was kneeling right in front of me, I was still alone here.

It was so blatantly clear. Part of me wanted to even utter a humorless laugh at it as my whole frame shook with pent up pain and despair. My grip on my sweatpants tightened until my knuckles had gone white and I could feel the sharp pricks of my nails digging into the flesh of my thighs even through the fabric as I held back a wail.