Unexpected

Farewells in Ink

"Is that all you would like to bring with you?" Loki asked as I zipped up the suitcase that was still resting on my coffee table.

I glanced around my living room, trying to make a checklist inside my head. I'd slipped a few of my language dictionaries in my bag as well. I'd spent years learning these languages; I wasn't going to let all my hard work fade away. I also had packed my charging cord for my phone. I really didn't suppose that Asgard had outlets for me to charge my phone at, but I wanted to bring my music with me. I'd also packed the picture of the peony that Steve had drawn for me, tucking it with the loose pictures in my grandmother's jewelry box for safekeeping.

Everything else here was just stuff. Just clothes and cookware, dishes and furniture, cleaning supplies and tech, all of which would be useless to me in Asgard. They were just things with little meaning to me. The apartment itself would be harder for me to leave than my possessions.

I had made memories here sitting on this couch or leaning against my balcony's railing or at the kitchen table. Even now as I glanced over my dwelling I remembered meals with Steve and Nat and of evenings going over the decades since the 40's with the super soldier. I remembered dancing in the center of my living room with little Ana and Lillian. I remembered the conversations I'd had with Loki when he was merely a flickering hologram. I remembered the tears and the laughter, the loneliness and the excitement.

The same kind of sadness I'd experienced leaving my grandparents' house for the last time settled on my heart as I stood up, turning to face Loki, "Yes."

Loki gave me a long, measuring look before he stood up, taking a swift step over to me so that his height was looming over me, forcing me to look up at him, "Are you sure about this Penny?"

I blinked at him. What did he mean by that? "Am I sure?"

"It's clear that all of this hurts you. It breaks my heart to see you so distressed and to know I am once again the cause of your heartache." He clarified, his eyes unwavering.

"I'm sure about you." I answered quickly, not hesitating a moment for my firm answer. Maybe I wasn't one hundred percent sure about Asgard or taking up the duties left by the late queen, but I was sure about Loki. I'd decided. I chose Loki and he'd chosen me. I swallowed dryly, my gaze flitting over to my office, "There's just... I've one more thing that I've got to do."

Loki nodded as I made my way into my office, sitting down at my desk as I pulled out a drawer, revealing my stationary sets. Nat and Steve... they deserved some sort of explanation; they deserved an honest and true farewell. I couldn't call them to explain my absence. I couldn't face them, look them in the eye. No, there'd be questions and tears that way, so letters would have to do.

Taking up my pen I cursed at how my hand trembled like I had early-onset Parkinson's. Slowly I took a deep breath, holding my hand to my chest to steady it. I thought through what I wanted to say... No matter what I did say though, I knew it wouldn't be enough. Finally, once I was organized inside my head, I placed the pen tip against the crisp sheet of paper.

Dear Steve,

Gosh, this was going to be harder than I thought. I stared unblinking at the two words, feeling my lower lip quiver. Then I felt a light pressure on my shoulder, the long, thin fingers of Loki resting comfortingly on my shoulder, trying to imbue me with his soothing presence. I raised my hand to my shoulder for a minute, holding his hand as I tried to pull myself together again. Readying myself again, I continued to write:

I know this probably seems very sudden, but I'm going to be away for a while and I honestly don't know when I'll be back. Something important came up and I'm choosing to follow the path where it leads. Unfortunately, to follow that path means that for now I need to say goodbye