Unexpected

Gifts in the Morning Light

While I woke up to find myself in a bed fit for a queen, I certainly didn't wake up looking like one. I had slept hard cradled into the opulent bed, the cool silk sheets wrapping me in comfort, and I woke up looking like a mess. My golden hair had dried overnight and looked like a bird had mistaken my hair for straw in the night and had tried to tangle it into a nest while I slept. I had not cinched the neckline of my nightgown the night before and now it had slid to expose one of my shoulders. My legs were tangled in the sheets and the skirt of my night dress had bunched up around my waist.

Blearily looking around me, it took me a second to remember that I was not in my bedroom in my apartment and was instead in my bedchambers in the palace of Asgard. As soon as that reality settled over my still sleep-muddled mind, I rolled to the side of the bed, pulling the gauzy bed curtains open to peer out. Delicate tendrils of morning light slipped through the window curtains, letting me see the richness of the room. Wiping my hands over my eyes I turned over onto my back. I couldn't believe it. Yesterday had not been a dream. The ring on my finger was still there. Happiness filled my chest at the thought. I hadn't truly thought yesterday had been just a dream but waking to find that it was still true made a huge smile cross my face.

Then it faded just as quickly as it had sprouted. I wasn't at home. I wasn't across the hall from Steve. A weight landed on me as I lay there, feeling like it was smothering me. Steve must be home by now... he must've found the letters by now or if he hadn't he probably would by this evening. I wondered again about his and Nat's reaction to my disappearance. I wondered again if they would be sad or angry or worried. All they had was a pair of vague letters to assure them that I had not died or been kidnapped or something... I could almost see the crinkle of Steve's brow as he read the letter I had left behind for him. Thinking of them, my closest friends, made a lump grow in my throat. I hadn't even truly been able to say goodbye... I hadn't been able to truly explain my reasons for leaving and the guilt and my missing them only made the lump in my throat harder to swallow.

I wouldn't be showing up for work either. I wondered if I would be declared missing again like when I had been kidnapped last time or would I be listed off by S.H.I.E.L.D. as deceased or missing in action. Would other agents like Jenkins and Rumlow ask Nat and Steve where I'd gone? How would they answer? I sighed, burying my face in the pillows of the grand bed once more as the guilt swept over me again.

My sigh turned into a heavy groan before I shook my head, my face still mushed into the pillows, before pushing myself up. No, I wasn't going to think about this, not today. I'd made my choice. It was too late to go back now, and although it hurt me to leave my beloved friends behind, I didn't want to truly return. Miraculously I had Loki again and I wasn't about to let him go. Not after everything. I loved him too much for that.

It took a minute for me to unwind from my bed covers. The rug at the base of the bed was plush as my bare feet stepped on it, stretching and adjusting my nightgown as I stood up. How could even a rug be so lavish? In comparison to the rug, the marble floor was chill on the soles of my feet as I pushed the bedchamber doors open so I could step into the living chamber. I felt that it would be a while until I could truly get used to the idea that these were my chambers. Would these rooms ever become as familiar and commonplace to me as my apartments back in New York or D.C.? Would they ever feel like home like my grandparents' house had been while I was growing up?

Looking into the living chamber, I was surprised to find that things had appeared in in room seemingly overnight, probably brought by maids as I slept in this morning. I must've been sleeping very hard for me to not have heard the maid going about her business, considering that I was usually a light sleeper. The curtains to the glass doors were drawn back, letting mid-morning light spill into the room. Sitting on the low table in the living chamber was a covered tray. Beside it was a tall glass vase that was spilling over with white lilies arranged with deep red roses and small vine tendrils. Most surprisingly was a large cloth package that was draped over the chaise lounge.