Unexpected

The Black Widow's Unusual Therapy

My lungs begged for me to stop as each breath cut deep inside my ribcage. My legs had long ago turned to jelly, the bones inside them feeling like sloshing, burning liquid. The pressure behind my eyes that were dry and stinging throbbed with each pounding footfall. I couldn't stop though. I wouldn't. I turned with the curve of the Triskelion's gym's race track, ignoring the pinching in my side that seemed like someone was digging their fingernails into my flesh, digging deeper with each pant.

How long had I been running? It didn't matter really. As long as I kept going my mind couldn't concentrate on anything besides forcing myself forward. I hated the twists and turns of my conscious. Why couldn't I have just slept? Why couldn't I have simply slipped into darkness to rest from the troubles of my world? Instead my dreams had presented me with what I had most wanted, and then pulled it away from me in the ugliest way. Loki. He would never, ever force himself on me like that. Would he? No, he wouldn't. I was sure of it... not that it mattered... I couldn't touch him anyways. I could hardly even see him.

I hadn't been able to stop shaking once I'd shot up from my wretched nightmare. I don't know how long I'd lain there, weeping brokenly into my sweat-dampened sheets before I had given up all attempts to sleep. I'd packed up my things in the dark and driven back here to the Triskelion. If I couldn't make myself stop shaking from fear and crying, then I'd make myself tremble from physical exhaustion instead. I'd make my body burn and ache so that that was all I'd be able to focus on, my physical pain instead of my mental anguish. Anything was better than delving back in there, back into that swirl of emotion.

Just another lap. One more, then I'd be done. How many times had I told myself that? Far too many for me to believe myself this time. Keep going. One foot in front of the other, left, right, left, right, left-

I didn't land right on my foot. Since my legs and steps had become sloppy in my fatigue I hadn't lifted it high enough, dragging my toes and tripping over the point of my sneakers, sending me tumbling forward. My internal running mantra snapped as I gasped in pain. Maybe I should just lie here for a while. Had I stopped shaking yet? It was hard to tell considering that my whole body convulsed with my heaving breaths and coughs. I'd pushed myself too far.

Mopping my forehead, I rolled over onto my back to try to open my airways wider only to see a figure looming over me, blocking the gym's overhead lights. She had her fists resting on her ample hips; her full lips were pulled into a decisive frown, her red hair tied back so that I could see the whole range of emotions crossing her face as she looked down on me in my sad estate. Something in my chest froze as I blinked up at her. I could see it in her face. She knew. I was caught.

"Hey." I croaked, trying to pull on a slight grin, but even my lips felt wearied from my panting.

"Penny, what are you doing?"

"Rethinking my workout regime."

She rolled her eyes, dropping down into a squat beside me, "You suck at lying."

"I'm too tired to think of anything better." I rasped, my last word coming out in a choked cough.

"How much sleep did you get last night?"

"I don't know."

"How long have you been here?"

"I don't know."

"I was afraid of this." Nat sighed, "I knew you weren't okay. You were trying so hard last night to make it seem like you were fine, but... your eyes were dark, kinda glassy you know. I've seen it before. Penny-"

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

"No, but I will be."