Unexpected

Languages, Restrictions, and Meatballs

"Okay, so wait... how many languages are you fluent in then?"

The lunch table in the cafeteria was alight with noise and crushed-in with people as per usual, and I was at the ever-crowded, ever- rambunctious table with the combat team. Right now, I was the hero of the group, having brought in cookies that I had baked the night before. Rumlow was down the table from me and I was sandwiched between Romanoff and Rogers. Honestly, I had no idea how we'd gotten to this topic of languages except that the lot of them were wondering why I wasn't a part of their squad like Steve and Nat were. Why I wasn't out on missions often times. I'd responded I was a translator. That was my main job, not going out on missions. They asked what translating entailed. I gave them a quick rundown of my basic responsibilities, which included expanding my linguistic knowledgebase.

"Still only the five languages I started out here with, you know, English obviously, Greek, French, Spanish, and Mandarin Chinese. However, since I've been here, with the help of the lovely Miss Romanoff here, I've picked up some Russian, and on my own time I've been working on German. I'd say that I'm comfortably conversational with the new ones."

"Why German?" Rumlow's interest seemed to have peaked.

"My little trip to Germany last summer. Having been trained in college to be a translator, I didn't like the fact that I couldn't understand a word any of them were saying." That's all the explanation I felt like they needed.

"Okay, so say something in German then." Another of them insisted, snatching a cookie from their buddy's hand.

"Was soll ich sagen?"

"What's that mean?"

"Basically, I'm asking what you want me to say."

"Say something in Chinese then!" Another called out.

"我不知道你要我说了." (Wǒ bù zhīdào nǐ yào wǒ shuōle.)

"That's cool, though. You just know this stuff off the top of your head... what did you say?"

"I don't know what you want me to say." I translated, feeling uncomfortable under their eager, scrutinizing eyes. In the back of my mind my memories replayed how the scientists had stared at me with a similar awe and interest while they'd run those tests on me in the underground headquarters in New York.

"That could come in handy you know." Natasha commented, twisting the cap off her bottle of water to wash down the cookie she had managed to scavenge from the huddle of agents. "It already has been before, in France. If you know a language well enough you can act like a native, meld in with a crowd. That's useful on missions."

"Well, even if my clearance was returned, I highly doubt that I'd be sent out on the field. I'm more valuable behind my desk in front of my computer screen with a stack of multi-lingual dictionaries at hand." My eyes flicked over to the clock on the wall, "Speaking of which, I need to get back to work. I'm needed in a conference call with Puebla, Mexico in a half hour and I still need to email Jenkins about a file from last year that I need to get at for another assignment that they want finished before four o'clock."

"Busy girl." Nat teased.

"I just can't wait until my restrictions are lifted. The request forms that Agent Jenkins insists on are a pain to fill out every time I'm handed a translating task with any sort of classification." I sighed under my breath to her, "You're still joining Steve and me for Teriyaki meatballs tonight aren't you?"

"You're so domestic sometimes, Penny, that it hurts. Yeah, I've got nothing better to do on a Friday night."

I rolled my eyes at her, grinning before excusing myself from the group and heading up to my office. The heels of my ankle boots clacked as I made my way down the hall. It'd been about a month since I'd been handed my punishments and I was starting to really feel the limitations put on me. The therapy sessions were awkward and intrusive and I had to work hard to keep my secrets hidden from the kind-eyed shrink. The clearance restrictions were a daily struggle and inconvenience that I would be more than happy to have lifted. The night shifts were over now, but they had left me brain-dead tired the mornings after and my work had suffered for it, but I bore it all without complaint. Honestly, after my actions, I felt I had very little room to complain. Now, however, it was harder to bite back the bitterness from them. I hoped that any day now I'd get some communication that I was off the hook, that I had paid my dues to the agency for my actions. I'd feel like I was a trusted agent again, that I was no longer the naughty child who had lost their TV privileges.

I'd fallen into a decently comfortable routine, though, now that the drama of Ed's presence had faded away. Steve and I were like usual, working through the 70's and trying new food places from around the city. Several nights recently though, we'd started putting effort into trying to find Peggy, Steve's long-lost love from before his time in the ice. It'd taken him a while to talk about her again after our trip to the museum. It'd taken him longer to accept my help. It was slow work, mostly because it was emotionally difficult for him and I didn't want to push him too hard. I wanted to help him though. I knew the pain of having someone so far away and yet so close, of thinking that you'd never truly see them again. I wanted Steve to find Peggy.

I assumed that I'd be able to be more of a help once my clearance restrictions were lifted. Then I'd be able to find her using S.H.I.E.L.D.'s resources. No doubt they would have kept tabs on one of their founding members even after she left the division.

Sometimes Nat joined us on our evenings, though we kept Peggy a secret. She'd add a little spice to our nights with her sassy comments. She didn't come around overly often though. Part of me felt like she was trying to avoid getting too close. I didn't know much about her past, but I knew from insinuations that her childhood and training had been close to hellish. I couldn't blame her from trying to protect herself.

On the front of Loki... well, he'd been silent. Whenever I was alone I'd almost expect him to appear in flickering, glinting gold and emerald light, but he didn't. His absence started weighing heavily on me, but I tried to not let it show up in my daily life. I had friends here, work to do, neighbors and routines, music and languages. I could distract myself. Even without him here with me, I had to live my life.

Work was work, made more difficult because of my restrictions, but I managed well. I was always kept busy whether it was translating or keeping up on my mandatory training. Nat and I would spar sometimes, which ended with me receiving new bruises more often than not. Other times I'd head home with my eyes watering from staring at my screen for so long or with noun phrases and tones swirling through my mind like leaves caught up in a tornado.

Work doesn't just stay at work though. Somehow you always bring it home. After a long meeting over video feed and hours spent picking through weapons jargon that was written in Mandarin from the file from last year I was finally allowed to go home, but my work wasn't done just because I'd left the Triskelion building. I was still teaching myself German after all, and that took up great amounts of my personal time. I figured that I'd work on it until Steve and Nat could pop on over, but I soon regretted it.

About two hours into my training, my already worn-out mind felt completely deflated. Freaking German! At the gala that night so long ago it'd seemed effortless for them all to be spinning long, complicated sentences, spitting them at me even though I obviously couldn't understand them! Natives! Their effortless fluency was the bane of my very existence!

"You know what?" I stood up from my home office's desk chair, closing the thick dictionary I'd been using to aid my efforts shut with a loud clapping sound, "I don't care. That's it. I just don't care! I don't care if it's a noun or a verb or an adjective! Heck, even if it was an adverb I wouldn't care! If I cared less scientists would have to do a study on my pure lack of care because I would've created a black hole with all the cares I do not give right now!"

I almost laughed at myself! Look at me getting all riled up because I was tired and German was frustrating me!

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Penny? Is this a bad time?"

Heat rushed to my ears as I hurried across my apartment to swing the door open to let Natasha in, "No. It's a great time actually."

"What were you talking about a black hole?"

"Now, Nat. What have we talked about eavesdropping?" I teased.

"It's part of my job." She defended herself, kicking her shoes off, "Anyways apartment walls are always so thin! It's nearly impossible not to hear you when you go on a rant like that."

"I'm sure the neighbors hate me. I know I blare my music too loudly."

"Nah, you've got a good taste in music."

"That's what I tell Steve, but he still prefers those old records of his!"

"I swear he's a fossil." Natasha laughed as she stepped into my kitchen.

"But he's our fossil, and that's what matters." I giggled, following her.

Nat's smile spread across her face before she put her hands on her hips, "So. How does one make a teriyaki?"