What's Next?

Rough Patches

A week passed and nothing was getting close to normal. Rory still bolted awake every night due to terrible nightmares that kept returning. Jess was trying to be strong for his wife in her time of weakness and fragility but he himself felt dismembered and tenuous to the outside world. Adley and Rosalyn could sense sadness in both parents and had grown more fussy, mocking their emotions. Haeven was a very responsible four year old, she minded her mom and dad when told because Jess had a little chat with her. He told her that "mommy is extra sad and she needs you to be an extra good girl." Jess reminded his sweet daughter that she was so brave for sticking with them in this time and for not whining.

"But Jess, you have to understand-" Rory was having a conversation with Jess as Haeven burst into the room.

"Rosalyn and Adley won't shut up." She said.

Jess reminded her. "We don't say that word."

Haeven corrected herself. "Sorry, daddy. Sissy keeps crying."

"I got it." Jess offered.

Rory objected. "I'll handle it Jess, geez."

Jess was a bit taken aback; of course Rory had been upset but she had taken so much out on him lately.

Rory rocked her toddlers to sleep.

*****

"I'll help you with that." Jess said as Rory tried to carry two baskets of laundry to the washing machine.

"I didn't need your help before and I don't need it now." She said through gripped teeth.

Jess stood in shock. "Where is this odd attitude coming from?" He asked.

"I don't have an "odd attitude." She said, adding air quotes.

"Then why are you being so harsh with me?"

Rory stared at her husband. "I lost my baby, and I blame you."

"Me?" Jess got defensive. "Why on earth would you blame me?"

"You gave me extreme amounts of stress almost the entire time I was pregnant." Rory said. "I never got a break and I did most of the work while you were out all day."

"Excuse me?" Jess said. "For your information, I work every single day for this family and in case you haven't noticed, we're doing pretty well in this house that I paid for."

Rory stared in anger and frustration at him. "And what? I do nothing? My job is meaningless?"

"Well, you haven't been working much." Jess retorted, letting anger fill him as his pride was shaken.

"I've been kind of busy being fucking pregnant." Rory yelled. "Well I guess that's over now; I can go back to work and everything can return to normal."

Jess felt tense. "You're not the only one that's hurt over this, my dear." He said. "He was my little boy too, a little boy I planned to do so much with. And you ruined that!" He yelled at her.

Rory's eyes were swelling with tears that threatened to burst at the seams. "It was not my fault." She said. "It wasn't."

Jess knew that Rory wasn't to blame, he was just so mad and hurt that he wanted to hurt her back. "I'm going for a walk." He said. "Don't wait up."

Rory watched as Jess walked out and shut the door. Pretty soon a little brown haired girl came running down the stairs.

"Were you and daddy fighting?" Haeven asked.

Rory tried her best to explain to her daughter. "Me and daddy got a little angry but we are taking our space for a little bit."

"Is he coming back home?"

For the first time in her entire marriage, Rory didn't know for sure if Jess would come back.

*****

Hours passed and still there was no sign of Jess. Haeven was wanting a bedtime story from her dad but Rory didn't know what to say.

"Go to sleep and when daddy gets home, I'll send him up to read you a story."

"But daddy never forgets to read to me." She said.

Rory picked out a book. "Let me read this to you, okay my sweet angel?"

Haeven nodded. "Kay mommy."

Rory read to and tucked in her eldest child and headed downstairs to wait for Jess. She called him multiple times but there was no answer. Rory waited for and hour more before totally collapsing on the couch, she went upstairs and let Jess know to come up when he arrived.

*****

How dare she? Jess thought as he pulled into the driveway. Blame me. Jess saw that it was a quarter passed 2 A.M before he got home. He had ignored the messages from his wife. Jess went upstairs to see his sleeping daughters. He cursed to himself for not reading them a story, he'd done it every night. What killed him the most was going into his wife's room and seeing her curled up in a ball, clenching a pillow. She had kept the lamp on the bedside table on and Jess could she her flushed cheeks and pink eyelids. She had been crying. Jess knew he had done this to her. His heart broke for her. As he began stirring around, Rory awoke.

"Jess?" She whispered and tried to keep herself from crying any more.

Jess shut his mouth for the first time that night and grabbed his beautiful wife in a hug. "I am so sorry."

Rory began sobbing into his chest and he held her as she heaved. "This week sucks."

"Oh, baby I know." Jess said. "I'm just a big fucking jerk is what I am."

Rory hugged him tighter. "So am I."

"I shouldn't have gotten angry at you, of course nothing was your fault. I was just getting aggravated at life and how unfair this is."

"I shouldn't have blamed you either. I know it's not you I should've blamed." Rory paused a moment to blow her nose.

Jess wrapped themselves up in the blanket. "I swear I'll never walk out on you ever again."

"Where'd you go?" Rory asked.

"I just walked around the block and then up to the park and sat on the benches." Jess said, honestly.

"Are you cold?" Rory noticed that Jess's nose was pink.

"A little." He said and pulled her close to her.

Jess and Rory had both made mistakes that night, but it was due to the tremendous stress that was haltering them from being happy. They both meant their apologies and that's what matters most.