What's Next?

Troubled Water

Warning/Spoiler for upcoming events: Skip all the way down to the *** to avoid spoilers, keep reading for the warning:

This chapter may be a trigger to anyone who has experienced loss of a child due to a miscarriage. Please take note of this before reading, if you need to talk to me feel free to meet me in messages. I am understanding of everything and am completely judge free. Do not feel hesitant to contact me. Much love, Samantha. (Story below)

***
Rory awoke to an empty hospital room. Where am I? She thought. She looked around the room and saw the IV in her arm. "Jess?" She called out, very confused.

Jess popped his head around the door of the hospital room. "You're awake." He smiled.

Suddenly Rory was terrified. "The baby!" She began panicking. "Is the baby okay?"

Jess grabbed her hand to calm her. "I took you up here to get you checked out, the doctor should be back soon." He squeezed her hand.

"Where are the girls?"

Jess slowly caressed Rory's hand. "With Luke and Lorelai."

Rory tried to sit up.

"No, no. Just stay down." Jess said. "Just relax."

"There's blood." Rory saw on her gown. "There's a lot of blood, Jess."

"You scratched yourself pretty bad on the broken hooks of the curtain holder." Jess reassured.

Pretty soon the doctor came back in. "Mr. Mariano?" He asked, a stern like tone in his voice.

"Yes." Jess answered.

"Come here." The doctor led him out of the room. "Mr. Mariano, I need to tell you something and I also need you to be strong for your wife in there."

This was scaring Jess. "What's going on?"

The doctor looked at Jess. "The little boy didn't make it." He started.

This is when Jess forgot how to breathe, his sight began filling with blurred figures. "Doctor, no. You can't do this to me."

"I'm so sorry." He put a hand on his shoulder. "I understand that this is extremely tough loosing a baby. I need you to be strong for your wife though, she's going to need you to be."

Jess rubbed his eyes. "But why?" He had given up on the world. "Why?" He demanded an answer.

"It was not to be the fault of anyone. Your wife just took a risk having a baby at her age."

Jess tried not to cry; he wanted to be strong for Rory.

The doctor went in to inform Rory of the horrible news; the kind he dreaded telling. This part of his job made him want to quit.

Rory laid in her hospital bed as the doctor entered alone.

"Ms. Mariano," He said and walked to the side of the bed. "I'm so sorry."

Rory knew what he was going to say. "No." She shook her head.

The doctor felt himself start to shake, it was one of the hardest things to do was tell patients about the loss of a child. "The baby didn't make it."

Rory stared blankly into space before screaming. "No!" She shouted.

"I need you to calm down dear, you're only going to hurt yourself more."

Jess came running in. "Oh honey." He grabbed her hand and hugged her.  Jess cried into her.

"Why?!" Rory screamed. She began sobbing hysterically. She began cursing the world.

The doctor removed himself for the sake of their privacy.

"It's my fault. It's all my fucking fault." Rory blamed herself.

"No, no honey." Jess tried to comfort her. "It's not your fault!" Jess was angry. "Don't blame yourself for this."

"I should've been more careful, not stressed so much." Rory was heaving.

Jess crawled into the hospital bed beside her and held her near him. He said nothing, just remained by her side until she cried herself to sleep.

The night was anything but easy, Rory tossed and turned; she woke up numerous times due to horrific nightmares. Jess was there each time to calm her down.

The next morning, the doctor did the procedure.

"I couldn't even hold him." Rory whispered, her voice hoarse from crying. "Our little boy."

Jess held her head against his chest and rubbed her back up and down. "I know."

Rory put her hands on his chest and closed her eyes. "I need air."

Jess took her outside and later they were discharged from the hospital.

"Please keep the girls another night." Rory said to Lorelai. "I need more time." Rory didn't want to tell her mother the terrible news over the phone so she waited to talk to her until the following afternoon.

*****

"Come here." Lorelai hugged her daughter tightly. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, sweet girl."

Luke went up to hug her too. "I'm sorry, Rory."

"Luke." It just reminded her of what she didn't have; when she found out that the baby was a boy she had imagined the typical cliche; him and Jess playing baseball together. She sobbed into his chest.

Luke kissed her head. "I'm here whenever you need me, I promise."

Rory appreciated the gesture.

They talked a while and discussed the matter more. The burial was to be a week from that day.

*****