LOVELY MESS

Chapter 11 Missing my Winter

Fhilea(POV)

Mabilis akong lumabas ng classroom. I can't keep on staring at him. He always reminds me of Winter. I am loving the feeling but I am hating the idea. I don't want to compare him with anyone else, but whenever i'm looking at that boy.. they do look alike. Sort of.

'I hate this!' asar kong bulong sa hangin. 

I walk straight to the bathroom. Buti na lang at walang tao.Mabilis akong naghilamos at tumingin sa salamin. 

'Should I continue hiding from them?' isip isip ko. 

I burst out a sigh. Look at the ceiling and try to reminisce a little glimpse of the past.

I missed how he play his guitar for me. Thats one. Nagawa kong hindi sila alalahanin for the past years.

And now, seeing that kid, makes me feel that I was walking on some scenarios way back then.

How he talk. How he blushed. How he react when i'm around is Deja vu. 

I still remember how he hugs me from behind. How he always whisper that everything will be alright. How I wake up every morning that my coffee is ready. How he loves watching me when I'm cooking his favorite Pancake & Bacon. The 'keep the straight face game' and the 'all about me game'  that we invented. 

There's a lot to remember.

And now, I dont know if i should continue walking away anymore. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang naging desisyon ko na talikuran sila. Yun ay kung iyun nga ang matatawag sa ginagawa ko.

I chose to stay away cause they always make me sad. Not them, specifically. It's being with them. A moment with them brings a lot of memories that should be buried. Something that I should moved on with. Something that I should've let go long time ago.

No one said it's easy. But nobody said that it wouldn't take time either. So what now?

No matter how much i tried to forget all those memories it still flashes back.

And seeing that Kitton kid? Lahat sumasampal sa pagmumukha ko. 

I look at myself in the mirror. 

'Who are you now, Fhilea?' tanong ko sa repleksyon na nasa salamin.

I'm still seeing the same girl with the cold eyes. Dark. Blank. A girl that has nowhere to go. No exact path. Feelings are in a dead end. 

'I wonder how is he doing?' tanong ko ulit. 

Did he wake up in time? Mag naga-alaga ba dito pag may sakit? Who prepares his food? Who is he calling when he got home from school. 

It has been three years. I've been running away for three years. And I thought that with that span of time I'll be able to forget everything. Akala ko lang pala. 

And now, I'm starting to doubt that 'thought' word. I should never relay on it.  Ever.  Again. 

I fixed myself at nag pasya ng lumabas. Wala sa sarili kong tinatahak ang hallway.

'If i have to live with this everyday, then so be it!' desisyon ko. 

I will talk to him one of these days. I missed him so BADLY. I miss Winter so BAD. 

I am  talking to myself when i noticed Clifford. He's just right across me. He's looking at me and again, I saw Winter. 

'Why do you have to be this cruel, world?' reklamo ko sa mundo.

Napagpasyahan ko ng pag usapan na namin ang magiging lay out ng ire-report. Nalalapit na ito at hanggang ngayon ay wala pa kaming nauumpisahan. Naglakad ako patungo sa direskyon niya at nahuli itong nakatingin sakin. Agad na namula ang mukha nito at napayuko.

'shy guy!' puna ng isip ko at tuluyan ng nilapitan ito.

xXx Thank you so much for reading guys 😘 I appreciate it a lot ☺️ Mas masaya if you vote and share 😁 LoveLots mga ka-Messy Mwuahhugs Umingats 💋💜 xXx