Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Chapter Thirty-One

John's POV

I had no idea how I had gotten into this situation.

I had good morning- hiking, then a little swim.

And then I walk into the Schuyler's cabin because Eliza had left her towel and I offered to get it for her, and I see Alex and Maria having sex.

My Alex.

The Alex that was dating me.

"Alex, what the fUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" I yell.

The moment I said that, I felt myself choke on tears. This wasn't how I imagined our relationship to be. He said he would be with me forever, that he would never do this to me.

"J-John! What are you doing?" Alex stuttered nervously, sitting up. Maria moved from on top of Alex and she stared at me, scared.

"What am I doing here? What am I doing here?! THATS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, IS IT?! BECAUSE THE QUESTION SHOULDN'T BE 'WHAT IM DOING HERE', IT SHOULD BE 'WHY ARE YOU HAVING SEX WITH MARIA'!"

Tears streamed, and they stung. They stung so bad, they hurt, hurt my eyes, my cheeks, and most importantly, my feelings were hurt.

"John, baby, I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry!" Alex was trying to stand up, but I interrupted him.

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT EARLIER!" I wiped my eyes, but that did nothing, tears just kept coming.

Alex and Maria stayed quiet. They both had scared faces on then, other than the fact that they were sweating and beet-red. Under the covers, naked, in each other's embrace.

"YOU BETTER BE FUCKING GRATEFUL THAT IM NOT TELLING ANYONE," I felt sobs coming out of my mouth, "ESPECIALLY ELIZA. BECAUSE IMAGINE WHAT SHE WOULD BE THINKING, WORSE THAN ANYONE ELSE."

I snatched the towel from where it was and ran out, slamming the door and covering my mouth to prevent hearing me from crying.

This couldn't be happening, not at all, not even close. 

I trusted him. I trusted Alex with my problems, with my issues, with everything. And when I felt the best I have in a long time, Alex decides to make the worst decision of all time and do this to me?

I tried wiping my tears with Eliza's towel and walked towards the lake to where James and Eliza was.

I couldn't just say it to Eliza. Pure, innocent, Eliza. She always did whatever to make others feel happy, and Maria had promised to keep Eliza happy forever. And now, she had broken it. I had to make sure Eliza doesn't find out.

In fact, I couldn't let anyone find out.

I made it back to the lake and took and deep breath as I saw Eliza and James playing around. I walked towards them and handed Eliza her towel. I was lucky it was slightly dark outside, or else Eliza would have seen me biting my lip severely and my pink eyes.

"Thanks John! You're the best!" Eliza giggled, and began to lay on the towel that was now on the grass. James was already in that position.

"You're welcome." I said, preventing from my voice cracking. "I'm gonna stay in the water for a while, be right back." 

James and Eliza nodded and kept talking. I jumped into the water and stood as I felt tears cascade again.

What was I supposed to do now? All I ever thought about was Alex, but now I couldn't. It hurt to think of him, it hurt so much. It's just so hard, because I still love him.

I stuck my body underwater as I felt the slightly cold lake water surround me. The tears that kept coming were still leaving my eyes, but I couldn't feel them on my body. They mashed up with the water from the lake and stayed there. It was like my sadness was dissolving, and it wasn't affecting me anymore.

But sadly, that wasn't what was happening.

I got my head out of the water so I could breathe. The night would have been beautiful any other night, but not tonight.

I got out from the water and took my towel, drying myself off.

"Hey John, we were thinking of heading back to my cabin and playing Would You Rather. Wanna join?" Eliza asked.

Fuck. She couldn't go to her cabin, I can't risk her seeing what'll ruin her.

"How about we go to my cabin and join everyone else?" I suggested.

"That sounds good too. I'm intrigued." James nodded with Eliza and they stood up with me, and we were making our way to my cabin.

As we got inside, I saw that Maria and Alex were sitting with everyone else, laughing and playing around. As if nothing had happened. I wonder if they told anyone.

"There you guys are! Took ya long enough." Peggy squealed, hugging Eliza.

"Johnny, your eyes are pink. What happened?" Laf asked.

I forgot that. Now that we were in plain light from the cabin, they could see. 

I made eye contact with Alex. He gave me a pleading face, as if asking for forgiveness. I then looked at Maria, she was the same way.

"Nothing, just too much time in the water, that's all." I excused, trying to dry my hair.

"Now that everyone's here, back to my cabin!" Angie stood up, waving her hand as people followed her out the door. I just made my way to get a pair of clothes and change.

"You coming, John?" Herc asked, standing at the doorway with Angie and Eliza.

"No thanks, I'm tired." I lied, forcing a smile.

They nodded and left, closing the door.