Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Eliza's POV

I ran away, away from her.

I can't even look at her the same ever again.

Her before gorgeous, shiny eyes now turned into a raging fire, a roaring ocean.

Tears stung my eyes and flooded my vision as I ran to the only person I could think of- John.

There's no way I'm telling my sisters- they'd probably kill her. And even though I knew the others, I just don't trust them enough for this.

I barged open the door to his cabin- only him inside, thankfully- and he looked up at me.

"Guess what I just found out?!"

And I watched him burst into tears.

I ran over to him, hugging him as he sobbed into my shoulder.

"You knew?" I gasped.

John nodded into my shoulder and kept crying.

"I-I walked in on t-them doing it."

I grabbed him by his shoulders and looked into his puffy, pink eyes. I couldn't believe that he had to walk in on such a bad act.

"I'm so sorry." I said, letting him go and looking down at my lap, tears beginning to rise again.

"I'm sorry for you too," he murmured, "I knew you thought she was the one."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know."

*** *** *** ***

"Yeah, I know!"

I laughed as I picked up Maria's brush and stood beside her in front of the mirror, combing her hair.

"I mean seriously, your hair looks like a lion's mane!"

"I know, Eliza, I already know!"

I giggled and kept brushing. Our sleepover was amazing, just watching old movies and eating Chinese. It was our usual, but it was the  best.

"Hey, when can we do this again?" Maria looked up at me from the mirror, smiling shyly.

I giggled and pecked her cheek.

"Whenever you want."

*** *** *** ***

I wiped my eyes and look at John.

"May I.."

John just shrugged and slammed his back on the mattress, sighing. I followed his example and did the same. We stared at the bottom of the top bunk, not saying a word- we were both heartbroken.

"Wait a minute..." I realized, "when we went on the boats on the water... you were with Alex."

John sighed. "Yeah."

I turned my body around to my side and faced him. "How did you do it?"

"I know it sounds weird, but i don't hate him. I hate what he did to me, and how it hurt me, but I still wanna be with him. I still love him. I wanna be with him, but at the same time, I don't think I'm ready to."

"You're right- I don't get it."

John chuckled and rubbed his neck. "Well, I guess this is gonna turn into those really sappy Wattpad stories where I still live him after everything he does?"

I tilted my head. "What's Wattpad?"

John sighed and abruptly stood up, putting on his green converse. "Nevermind- look I gotta go. You should tell you sisters."

And he ran out, slamming the door behind him.

*** *** *** ***

I sat on my bed, sighing.

It's been a week since we got back from the camping trip, and it's been awkward, least to say.

I sat beside my sisters, and even then, I didn't tell them about Maria. I just couldn't do it. I was gonna screw up everything if I said something.

Nevermind. It was Maria that screwed up everything.

Now I lay on my bed, deleting pictures and videos of us. I don't even cry anymore at this point- I'm numb. I can't imagine loving her again like John loves Alex.

And I don't think it'll ever be that way again.