Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Chapter Thirty-Six

Maria's POV

The day had been interesting, least to say.

Once Johnathon and Alexander made it to shore and rested for a bit, we decided to go rowing back.

"How are we gonna go back?" Hercules asked, "In case if you haven't noticed, a while boat is down. Two people will have to swim."

Alex crosses his arms like an X furiously. "Nope! That won't be me! Anyone but me!"

We all decided that we get the heaviest people scattered in different boats and then sort it out from there. We made to work and were soon making it to land.

As me, James, and Lafayette were paddling, I couldn't help but keep staring back at the water.

A dazzling blue.

Just like Elizabeth.

And then there was me- my reflection was horrible. I was a cheating whore and needed to accept it.

Jeffershit was right- I really don't deserve anyone.

But Elizabeth- oh how I love Elizabeth- she was so caring and sweet and smelled like pure vanilla bean candles and her ever soft hair and-

There was just so much.

So I had finally made up my mind- I wasn't gonna spend time waiting to tell her. I was gonna tell her today, as soon as we got back and ate some food. I could feel the lie consuming me and clawing at my throat like it wanted to seep our and rip apart whatever it's target.

And unfortunately, it had already gotten Johnathon.

Now it was coming to my dear Eliza.

*** *** *** ***

As soon as everyone started cleaning up their lunch tables to go off, I walked over to where Elizabeth was- setting all the dirty trays in one of the bins for the cafeteria ladies to later clean.

"Hey Elizabeth," I grabbed her wrist, "can we talk?"

Elizabeth nodded and we walked off. I led her somewhere to where nobody could see ya.

It was just me and her and my aching heart.

"Elizabeth, I just want you to know that I love you so, so, much. You have no idea how much you mean to me."

Elizabeth giggled and kissed. "I love you too."

I took a deep breath and took her hands, looking at her pools of her eyes.

"And there's something I need to tell you."

Here goes nothing.

"Do you remember that night that we all played a bunch of cabin games while you went swimming with James and Johnathon? Well, we had booze and I got a little too tipsy. I was slammed in a room with Alex as a dare and I could do anything I wanted. My... alcohol took the best of me and... we kinda did it."

Elizabeth's eyes puffed up a bit, tears falling down her smooth and fair cheeks.

"No..." her voice wavered, "that can't be.."

"I'm sorry, but it's true." I replied, feeling so, so, so ashamed. "Johnathon walked in on us. You can ask him yourself."

"No..."

Elizabeth snatched her hands back from my gals and covered her mouth.

"...How could you?"

I stood there helplessly as I watched my love back away from me and run, run far away from me.

The worst part was how she reacted.
She didn't yell at me, or curse and frustrate insults at me, all she did was listen.

Her silence was what stabbed me right in the center of my heart.