Can't Make Up My Mind (Nouis & Zouis)

Chapter Seventeen - Forgiven

Niall and I were sat on the benches inside the park in the middle of my town, it wasn't a long drive and due to Niall's and my Mums worry about me driving I had brought him here. Also, it wasn't a very nice park, so there was practically no one around, meaning we could talk in almost private. It was mid February, and the fact neither of us were 100% it was pretty stupid we were out with only jackets on.

"I'm quite tired." Niall mumbled, I smiled at him, he must be tired, he had been travelling all day, and now it was five o clock and already pitch black, he must feel like he should be going to bed.

"I've done a lot of sleeping recently." I laughed as I looked over at Niall, moving closer so our body's were in full contact.

A shiny drop landed on Niall's cheek, he looked up, his eyes widening, I joined him in looking up too the sky, to see it had started snowing.

"English weather is such a mess." Niall said, smiling as he stuck his toungue out to try and catch some snow.

"You're such a kid Ni." I said, grabbing onto his hands and laughing.

I held up my hand high, watching as the sleeve of my jacket fell to my elbow. I was about to grab it and pull it back down when Niall grabbed my arm, turning it too the inner side. "Lou what the fuck is this?" Niall asked, staring at my arm. 

"Nothing." I mumbled, shaking his hand off and covering my arm again. Niall pressed on though.

"No, Louis its not nothing, do you cut?" He stared me dead in the eyes, looking worried and annoyed.

"Only once, I thought you hated me..." I replied, pulling my sleeve back again so I could stare at the fresh cuts that covered the upper part of my inner arm. Niall just shook his head and wrapped his arms around me, sighing deeply.

"Look we should probably go home, you shouldn't be out in this, it'll only make you more ill." He said, looking towards me, almost pleading me because he knew I wouldn't agree.

"No Niall, we need to talk properly." 

"Okay, I can't be bothered arguing with you." He huffed, pulling his legs up onto the bench so he sat cross legged. He leaned back and pulled up the hood of his hoodie, turning around fully so he was facing me. "What do you want to know Lou?" 

"Well, from the start, when did you find out you were gay, or are you bi?" I asked. Niall looked down, staying silent for a minute or so before looking up again. I smiled as though telling him too take his time.

"Well, when I was about fifteen all my friends were losing their virginity and that, and I realised it was probably time I should you know - And well I knew I wasn't into girls, but I didn't want to believe it, so I got into bed with a girl at a house party. But well you can guess what happened, and she just left me, laughing. I still didn't want to admit it to myself though so when I auditioned for the x factor and I started to get a lot of attention of girls, I took it, sleeping around a bit and stuff like that. Then the band was put together and I met you, at first I didn't like you. But, after we spent those weeks at Harry's house, I knew I had feelings for you, and I finally admitted to myself I was gay. I flirted with you, I really don't know how you didn't notice, I wasn't subtle." He stopped to send me a wink before carrying on "You definitely flirted back, but I knew it was only banter to you, I could see how you looked at Zayn. Then yeah you pretty much know it from there." He finished, smiling at me weakly before self consciously playing with the strings on his hoodie.  

"Oh right, I'm sorry if I led you on Niall." I said quietly. I felt awful I had caused him pain, I really hadn't realised he had feelings for me. 

"It doesn't matter now." He replied. I squeezed his hand and smiled as he looked up to me. 

"What about this girl Daisy, what really happened?" 

"Oh, well I had a short conversation with her on twitter and after I left you that morning I went to a cafe and she found me, we had to run away from the paps and we ended up going to her house. She only lived just out the center so it wasn't far at all. When we were in her room we were talking about you and I guess I just wasn't myself, I wanted to get back at you and she was just there. So yeah, we had sex and I felt awful. She didn't mind and we're actually really good friends now, but still I can't believe I used a girl like that." Niall looked completely ashamed, I stroked his hand softly before breaking into a coughing fit. Niall patted my back, pulling me closer and helping me stand up so I could catch my breath.

"Thanks." I muttered before sitting back down again, but Niall stayed stood up. "What?"

"C'mon, we should go home, you're really not fit to be out in this." He pointed up at the snow that was now falling thick.

"Ugh, okay."

Niall's POV

We were making our way back to the car when Louis stopped, he walked over to the wall and started to cough, steadying himself by placing a hand on the wall. I ran over to him, asking him what was up. He didn't reply as he started to cough worse than before, it sounded as though he needed to cough something up.

It was then that my worst nightmare happened, I watched as the hand that Louis was holding to his mouth filled with blood.

"Louis, we need to get you home!" I shouted, putting my hands under his armpits and trying to pull him towards the car, but he couldn't stop coughing. I would of been more worried if I didn't know this was just another symptom of TB, as much as it was a horrible thing to watch.

Louis grew limp in my arms, and I turned him round so I could see his face, his eyes had closed, he was unresponsive.

"Louis?" I shouted, looking down at the unconscious boy in my arms. This was just like when I had collapsed.

He didn't answer, I pulled him up so I was cradling him, he wasn't as heavy as he looked. 

I carried him to the car, placing him into the passenger seat before climbing into the drivers side, getting more worried now, where should I drive? I didn't even know the way to his house, or the hospital. Hack it, I didn't even have a driving licence. I looked around the front of the car until i finally spotted a sat nav, I typed in Doncaster Hospital, hoping that it would come up with some results. Luckily for me, Louis had Doncaster Royal Infirmary saved into his favourite locations. I placed the sat nav on the windscreen, and sighed with relief when I realised we were only a ten minute drive from the hospital.

I frantically put the key in turning on the engine, not fully sure what I was doing. My dad had taken me onto private land to try out driving a few times before the x-factor, but other than that I had never driven a car.

Still I pulled out the space Louis had parked in and followed the Sat Nav's directions onto the main road. I was driving as fast as I could through the rush hour traffic. 

My phone lit up, Daisy was calling me, I hesitated before answering, placing the phone to my ear, she never rang me, it must of been important.

"Niall thank god you answered, I really need to talk to you." 

"Erm Daisy could I ring you back later, I'm a bit busy."

"No Niall, this is important."

"Seriously Daisy..." I pleaded as I drove fast down the road. Couldn't Daisy just wait to tell me what I needed to know, Louis was more important than anything else at the moment.

"Niall I'm fucking pregnant! Just thought you'd like to know!"

Crash.