Can't Make Up My Mind (Nouis & Zouis)

Chapter Twenty Seven - New Start

"What?" Niall's breathe hitched. 

"I don't even remember it Niall, I was drunk and so was he, if it wasn't for the fact he hasn't slept since he wouldn't remember it either." I said, looking sadly into the round blue eyes that belonged to my beautiful boyfriend.

"Like that makes it okay?" Niall sneered, pulling himself off the bed. 

I sat up "Niall I'm so sorry, I was pissed out of my head."

"Yeah but you cheated on me! That's not something you do when your pissed that's something you do when your relationship is in the gutters, when there's no spark, no love, have we lost that Lou, do you not love me anymore?" 

"Niall I love you more than anything." I protested.

"When was it?" Niall asked in a monotone, refusing to make eye contact with me. 

"Last night." I replied, looking down at the bed sheets in shame. 

"Where?" 

"Our bed." 

"Bloody unbelievable." Niall muttered. He turned away and pulled on a t shirt, before yanking off his pyjama bottoms and pulling on a pair of joggers. I couldn't help get a sense of de ja vu, it was so similarly to the time we woke up after making love the night after I split from Zayn. 

"Niall don't leave please." I said, getting out off bed and grabbing his hands so he couldn't move. 

"Every time, every time I think we're just right, you do something else to fuck it up." 

"That's not exactly fair is it, you've done your fair share of shitty mishaps." I said angrily, I could of chosen not to tell Niall about last night, so the least he could give me was a morsel of respect. 

"What did you just say Louis? Would you like to fucking repeat that?! I'VE FUCKED UP? So I'm the one that cheated am I, you're a fucking twat." Niall pulled his hands from my grip turning towards the door and walking out, slamming it behind him. It took all the strength I had in me to bring myself to follow him. 

"Niall please we can sort this out!" I shouted after him, catching up with him as he stormed down the corridor. 

He ignored me and carried on until he came to a room right at the end. "Open up Malik!" He shouted, before banging loudly on the door. 

"Oh don't Niall please." I pleaded, not wanting to get Zayn involved with our argument. 

The door swung open to reveal a flustered Zayn, he looked across at Niall in fear. 

"You've got some explaining to do dickhead!" Niall shouted, only to be yanked into the room by Zayn.  I followed him in and slammed the door behind me. 

"Niall I know you're pissed but people will fid out if you shout down the corridors like that." Zayn said.

"Do you think I bloody care? What the hell did you think you were playing at?" Niall replied, pushing Zayn hard in the chest so he stumbled bak slightly. 

"Niall I didn't plan on it, we were both drunk." Zayn protested, walking futher enough back so that Niall couldn't get to him. I could tell he was trying his hardest not to push Niall back. 

"Who came on to who then? He can't give me any answers can he so come on, which one of you?"

"It was me, I took advantage of the state Louis was in" Zayn lied, I mean I know I didn't remember it, but I was pretty sure I allowed everything to happen. "I don't care if you never forgive me Niall but please don't hold Louis to this, he loves you and he was way past the point of sanity." 

"Was it really you Zayn? Please, tell the truth." Niall asked, his voice softening. 

"Yeah." 

"Don't be surprised if I never forgive you." Niall said simply. 

"I won't, hate me if you like." Zayn replied. Why was he being so sincere?

"I could never hate you." Niall replied before swivelling round so he was facing me. "Now Lou, just, just don't ever do this again okay? I never want to hear about it again, never, and you got a whole lotta making up to do. But damn, I'll love you no matter how much you hurt me." 

"Niall I'm so sorry." I said, realising this was my last and final chance with this man. 

"I know you are." Niall said. I leaned in to place a short kiss on his lips, but he placed both his hands on my chest and pushed me back with little force "No yet Lou, that doesn't mean I forgive you." 

He then brushed past me towards the doorway, opening it and leaving.

I knew then that this was my final chance, if I screwed up again I would have absolutely no chance with Niall again. 

Three days later - Niall's POV 

Things were improving. 

I guess you could say I was weak, not putting u a fight with Louis, not showing him how pissed I really was, but truth is, I knew no matter how much I fought with him that night the next morning I would of run back to him. Life without him would just be, well it wouldn't be worth living. No matter how many times he screwed up or hurt me, I could never bring myself to hate him, to leave him.  The things he could make me feel, nothing even came close. Even when I held Daniel for the first time it didn't bring me the same happiness or elation as when Louis kissed me, or hugged me, or made love to me. I knew there was no one out there who would ever have the same effect on me that Louis did. And to be perfectly honest the thought of living without that effect was unbearable.

  I don't just love Louis Tomlinson, I need Louis Tomlinson. 

So yes, I did come across as a weak idiot who let his boyfriend walk all over him, but that's not what I was, I just couldn't bring myself to even think of leaving Lou. 

Like I said, things were improving. Louis spent almost every spare minute in the day trying to please me, it wasn't hard to see he was truly sorry. I often warned him if anything like it happened again it would be the last time he heard from me, but of course, that was a lie. 

We went back to London today. My family also returned to Ireland, along with Daisy and Daniel moving back home. I was going to visit at least once a week, there would be a bed in the room Daniel was having and he would be in a cot for a good few years so I was apparently always welcome, along with Louis. 

We had somehow managed to keep it from the media, no one had any idea a baby boy of mine had been born, and management wasn't keen on letting it get out either. 

Louis and I decided we would spend the last few days we had been given off work decorating a room in the house for Daniel, so after two days at home and five buckets of paint one of the huge rooms was painted light blue. We decided he wouldn't need a wardrobe yet, especially not at this house as he was going to be living with Daisy most of the time, so we settled on a set of drawers and a book case. We also decorated it with weird presents for him off the lads and a cute baby mobile I found in Mother care. We spent a tremendous amount of money on a cot, I didn't see what was so special about it but Louis was keen it was "Absolutely beautiful!" being the camp gay guy he is.. So soon Daniels room was finished. 

We settled down in bed on the last night before starting work again. "Babe?" Louis shuffled closer to me, whispering in my ear. 

"Yes?" I said, turning over so we were facing each over, our toothpaste fresh breath mingling. 

"Am I forgiven?" He finally asked after the past five days of grovelling. 

"Never again Louis, you hear me?" I said in what I hoped came out as a stern tone.

"I promise I'll never hurt you Niall, in any way, I love you." He said, smiling so widely I couldn't help but kiss him. 

It wasn't our best kiss, but it was so comfortable and amazing that I couldn't ever wish for more. 

"I love you too." I mumbled, before turning over and falling asleep in my not-so-perfect boyfriend's arms.