Red

12

"Pidge, I hate Lance." Keith groans, throwing himself to her floor.

"Uh huh sure you do, buddy." they laugh.

"I seriously do. What made him think he has the right to look that fucking good? God he's gonna look even better when he gets on testosterone."

"Keith, this isn't hate you fucking idiot."

"It has to be, I can't cheat on my husband."

"Do you have Mothman's consent to be saying these things? Maybe mothman doesn't want a relationship."

"He does. He loves me and I know it."

Suddenly Pidge's bedroom door slams open.

"IM GOING ON A DATE WITH TAKASHI HOW DO I LOOK??" Matt screeches, standing there in a white button up and black pants. His glasses shoved to the bridge of his nose, strands hair shoved behind his ears.

"Fucking horrible." Pidge laughs at their twin.

"Okay- rude. Keith how do I look?"

"Horrible. Bro, you're bisexual, how do you not have a good style?"

"Okay then what should I wear to a fancy restaurant?"

"McDonalds. Shiro is taking you to McDonalds." Keith deadpans.

"He's not taking me to McDonalds." Matt's phone chimes. He looks at it and turns it off, shoving it in his pocket. He looks dead at Keith and sighs.

"He's taking me to McDonalds."

"Yeah, go change you fuck nut. Keith is having a gay crisis and thinks he hates Lance." Pidge snorts.

"IM NOT!!" Keith shouts, cheeks flushing pink.

Matt sits next to Keith, placing both hands on his shoulders.

"What do you think about Lance?"

"He's got nice eyes."

"Uh huh."

"He wants to know what Lance tastes like." Pidge grins

"Lip wise or do you wanna be a fucking cannibal?"

"Lips?"

"That's pretty gay and I'm a professional."

"Fuck." Keith whines.

"Get you your mans. I gotta go change before-"

"Pfft what the fuck are you wearing?" Shiro laughs from the door.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING ME TO A FANCY PLACE YOU ASSHOLE!" Matt shouts, standing up. He grabs Shiro's hand and pulls him to his room.

"Dude you totally like Lance." Pidge smiles.

"Ugh!" Keith groans, throwing an arm over his eyes.

"Oh don't be a drama queen."

"What do I do?"

"Well, you can continue pining and acting like a jackass with your weird 'i wonder what he tastes like' shit or you could uh confess? I think that's how these things work." Pidge laughs.

"Ughhh can I just be a jackass forever?"

"If you want. Now hush, I'm tinkering with Rover." Pidge smiles, turning their swivel chair around to face their desk. A small pyramid hunk of metal sits on the surface.

Bae Bae runs into Pidge's room and bites Keith's ankle.

"WHAT THE FUCK GET YOUR DOG."

Pidge snorts.