Red

27

Lance's second month on testosterone. His voice had deepened a bit, he had started to grow a bit of facial hair, and his eyebrows darkened. Stomach hair got thicker and his jaw line got a bit sharper.

He got a bit more confident with himself, but not much. No changes in his sex drive.

Lance gets out of bed, it felt like there were two weights on his chest. Just dangling. He rubs at his face and sighs.

"Keith is in the living room." Marco mutters.

"Why?"

"Wanted to see you." Marco shrugs.

"Tell him to give me a minute, I need to change and do my shot." Lance mumbles.

"Alright." Marco closes the door behind him.

What time was it? Lance looks at his phone, 1pm. He blinks and gawks at the time. Shaking his head, he stands up and strips from his shirt and boxers.

He grabs his binder and a new pair of boxers and slips into them. Too lazy to actually put on a shirt or pants, he walks out of his room and across the hall to the bathroom.

He opens the medicine cabinet, pulling a packaged needle and a container of testosterone out. He closes the cabinet and heads back to his room, scratching the back of his neck.

He nearly drops his things when he sees Keith sitting on his bed.

"I told Marco to tell you to wait."

"Im sorry, I just miss you."

"Keith, mi amor, you saw me yesterday at school."

"Yeah but I miss you." Keith pouts.

Lance sighs and sits on the bed, taking the needle from its packaging. He stabs it into the bottle and pulls the needles plunger. Filling it to his dosage.

"What's that?"

"Testosterone." Lance mumbles, putting the bottle to the side. He pushes the needle into his thigh, not reacting to it. He pushes the plunger down and then pulls the needle out.

"How did you not freak out?!" Keith gasps

"Cause it doesn't hurt."

"You are a liar."

"Yeah and you're a pussy."

"Yeesh why are you so moody."

"Possibly because I'm bleeding?? I mean that's one reason. The other being you won't get the fuck out of my ass all day ever day. Is there ever any privacy I can get? Like Jesus fucking Christ." Lance growls, grabbing the needle and its packing, he throws it in a tin.

"I-I'm sorry. I'll- I'll go." Keith mutters, standing up.

"Cool." Lance huffs, laying on his bed.

Keith sighs and exits the room, leaving the apartment.
When he gets home he heads to Pidge's.

"Pidge, am I a bad boyfriend?"

"Uh,, no?"

"Lance yelled at me because I apparently won't leave him alone."

"Well, you are with him all the time." Pidge shrugs.

"Should- should I give him space?"

"I-i yeah? I don't know, Keith. I've never been in a relationship nor will I ever be in one. Why ask the ace person?"

"I don't know." Keith groans.

"Its cause I'm the only sane one isn't it?"

"Possibly? Are you even sane, you're always borderline sleep deprived."

"Nah, I'm fine man. 3 hours of sleep is good for me."

"3 hours of sleep is horrible."

"And that's why there's espressos with monster and 5 hour energy."

"You're gonna have a heart attack at 17."

"That's my goal, Kogane. That's my goal." Pidge laughs.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go home and brood."

"Okay, come back if you need anything. I'm working on making a new leg for a kitten my dad stole from his work."

"Getting tips from Hunk?"

"Yeah, he's the engineer and I'm just some tech junky, I hope it works."

"Hope it goes good, see ya."

"Bye Texas Kogane."

"That's my dad."

"Bye Texas Kogane Jr." Pidge snorts.

"Bye Samuel Holt Jr." Keith snickers.

"Oh har har."

Keith heads out of the Holt household, fist bumping Matt on his way out. He trudges home and swings open the door.

"Hey Keith."

"Yo."

"You're back early."

"I'm too clingy." Keith shrugs, shuffling to his room. He face plants on his bed and throws the blanket over his body.

"You gonna be okay while I'm at work?" Shiro says from the doorway of Keith's bedroom.

"Yeah, I'll invite Pidge over or Matt. Or the both of them." Keith mumbles.

"Okay, be safe. Did you take your meds this morning."

"Sure."

"Keith, you need to stay on them."

"I'm fine, I haven't been taking them for 2 months and look, I'm happy. I'm not sleeping for hours at a time. C'mon, Shiro, face it medicines won't help."

Shiro sighs and rubs his face, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Whatever, Keith. Don't improve, fine by me. Suffer in your own puddle of self pity and despair."

"Learned it from you and dad."

"Don't bring your dad into this, Keith."

"Y'know, he was so damn desperate to get out of this shitty world he went back into that burning house and saved some bullshit kid over taking care of his own."

"Keith, your father has nothing to do with this."

"Oh, but doesn't he? You bring him up all the fucking time. What would your dad say? What would your dad do? He wouldn't do shit, because face it, he didn't give a single fuck about me. He didn't even care about you." Keith seethes.

"Stop, Keith."

"No! Face the fucking facts Takashi, then come talk to me about doing the right fucking thing." Keith grumbles, shoving his head under his pillow.

Shiro slams Keith's bedroom door and grabs his bag, rushing out of the house and to his car.

Lance was writhing in pain on his bed. Clutching at his abdomen, sobbing into a pillow. He nearly screams when a new spike of pain shoots through his stomach and back.

"Lance? Sweetie, is there anything I can-"

"Get out!" Lance shouts through tears, vision blurry. Snot running down his face, mingling with tears.

He pants when the pain eases up, chest heaving before it spikes back up. He screams and whimpers. His period was light but his cramps were horrible.
It felt like thousands of knives stabbing into him every second.

When his phone begins ringing he throws it onto the floor and groans. Turning over to face the wall. He shoves a pillow between his legs, one behind his back, and one near his stomach. He pulls his blankets over his head and whines.

He wanted to die in that very moment. It all was very clear to him what he was born as and he hated it. Why couldn't he have just been who he was underneath all of this.