It's Only The Beginning (Book One)

Seven

Demi

Morning sickness. Check.

Fatigue. Check.

Cravings. Check.

"You're already killing mommy and you're only the size of a raspberry" I dropped my head back against the wall and sighed. I lightly caressed my stomach, continuing to take deep breaths, trying to push back the nausea.

I've been awake for hours and it's only 7 in the morning. I never thought morning sickness would be so intense. I'm 8 weeks pregnant, didn't realise it would hit so hard. Every part of my body aches more than I thought possible, more than when I used to do half a day in the gym.

"I have to admit though that I do love you so much already, more than I even thought possible and it doesn't matter that mommy and daddy aren't together because we both love you so much. I'm going to make sure that you have a better childhood than I ever had, Baby" I kept my eyes down on my stomach as tears burnt at the back of my eyes. "Nobody is ever going to hurt you, I promise" I wiped away the tears that rolled down my cheeks. "You finally going to let mommy get some sleep?" I ran my hand along my face as I yawned. I pushed myself up from the tiled bathroom floor, flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth before stumbling back into my bedroom where I instantly dropped back onto the mattress, wrapping myself up in my duvet.

-

"D?" I groaned as I woke, hitting at the arm of the hand that was gently poking at my shoulder. "Dems?" I rubbed at the sleep in my eyes. "You don't look like you've gotten much sleep?" my eyes fluttered open and I blinked up at Nick who slowly lowered himself down onto the edge of the bed.

"What made that so obvious?" I roughly spoke, groaning and coughing at the soreness. The downside of heaving for most of the early morning is a sore fucking throat.

"You want me to get you a glass of water?"

"Please" my heart fluttered as he leant down to press a kiss to the top of my head before leaving the room and I smiled as Batman and Cinderella began to bounce all over me as I sat up in bed, leaning back against the numerous pillows. "Hello Babies" I tiredly smiled as Batman began to lick at my neck and chin, my fingers locking into Cinderella's fur as she curled up at my side. Nick returned a moment later with a glass of water. I couldn't have been more grateful. "Thanks" Batman and Cinderella settled down as I took the glass from Nick, moaning as the cool liquid slid down my throat. "What are you doing here anyway?" I leant to lower the glass onto the nightstand, sending Nick a thankful smile as he took the glass from me and lowered it onto the nightstand.

"I sent you a message over two hours ago, you didn't reply and I got worried so I thought I'd come over" I found myself smiling at his concern for me.

"You were worried about me, huh?" Nick lightly chuckled and I could have sworn his cheeks reddened.

"You're my best friend and you're carrying my baby, D. Of course, I'm going to be worried about you" my heart sunk slightly at the sentence. I will only ever be his best friend. I just wish I'd fought more when he decided he wanted to bring our relationship to an end. I wish I would have fought more to keep us together. I glanced down at my lap as my fingers ran through Ella's fur, the silence slowly fell around us.

"I don't think we've ever had an awkward moment in the 10 years we've known each other" Nick released an awkward chuckle as I glanced up at him. That sentence probably made it that little bit more awkward.

"I-I suppose I just don't know what to say" I glanced down at my stomach that was slightly revealed as my shirt had risen. As terrified as I am, I can't wait to watch my belly grow.

"What did the message say?" I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to make the conversation as normal as possible. I don't want us to be awkward around each other. We've never been awkward around each other. The last thing a baby needs is parents that can't communicate.

"I just wanted to know how you were. I know that Dani suffered with severe morning sickness with Alena so I was just checking up on you" I couldn't stop my mouth from wanting to tug into a smile but it disappeared when I realised that he only cared because I'm carrying his baby.

"Yeah, it isn't exactly great but I'm hanging in there."

"I-I was wondering when you'd want to start telling people?" I sighed because I hadn't thought that far ahead yet.

"You want to tell your girlfriend, don't you?" and it suddenly clicked. He wants his girlfriend to know.

"I kind of need to, Dems. I don't have much choice" I nodded, my hand settling on my stomach. My heart hurt knowing that we'd never be a family, my baby would never have that family unit that I always used to crave as a child. Nick doesn't want us to be together.

"You can tell her. I don't care" I shrugged, glancing away from Nick as he sent me a small and sorrow filled smile. "I just don't want to tell anyone else until I'm at least 12 weeks" Nick nodded in understanding and in agreement.

"Yeah, I-I completely understand. I just-I can't keep this from Jess, D" I swallowed the lump that I felt in my throat, the awkwardness settled around us once again and remained that way until he left over an hour later.

-

"How am I ever going to get over him, Kels?" Kelsey placed her hand on my shoulder as I combed my fingers through my hair. "I'm carrying his baby; it isn't like I can forget that he exists" my free hand briefly ran over my stomach.

"Maybe you should talk to your mom."

"I can't tell her because I don't want to tell anybody yet. I kind of don't want to even admit to mom that I'm pregnant because then it'll seem real" now it was Kelsey's turn to sigh as she lowered her hand onto my knee.

"Dem, you're pregnant and there's no way of hiding it. You're going to have to tell everyone soon because you're going to have to take precautions while on tour" I dropped back against the couch with a groan.

"Why did I back out of having the abortion?" I glanced to Kelsey as she stroked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Because you love your baby."

"It'd be so much easier if I didn't, right?" Kelsey leant towards me and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug as the tears poured down my cheeks. Life would be so much easier if I weren't hopelessly in love with my baby.

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