It's Only The Beginning (Book One)

Twenty Nine

Happy New Year Everyone🥳

Demi

The instant the balloons flew from the box, every single person that surrounded us released their screams of excitement. I couldn't stop my smile from growing as I glanced to Nick whose smile matched my own as he looked out at our family and friends. It didn't take long for me to be pulled into a hug by Dallas who was ecstatic that she won the bet against Maddie.

"It's really a boy?" Dallas questioned as she released me from the hug but kept her hands on my shoulders. I giggled as I nodded. Dallas wrapped her arms back around me and squealed. "I'm gonna have a nephew" I chuckled as she began to bounce around in excitement.

"I'm gonna have a grandson" she held her hands up near her mouth as tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh, Baby" mom instantly wrapped me up in a hug.

"I love you, Momma."

"I love you too, Baby Girl" she pressed a kiss to my cheek as she pulled from the hug. "Oh, I can't believe I'm gonna have a grandson. I always wanted a little boy" I chuckled, briefly glancing to Nick who was surrounded by his family. Denise had her hands settled on either side of his face as she sobbed. His eyes looked up briefly and they locked with mine, we shared a smile, that smile spoke volumes. We couldn't be any happier. Our little boy may not have been planned but he's definitely wanted.

-

All the congratulations had been given; all the tears had been shed before we all settled down for the remainder of the evening. Mom and I settled in the living room while everyone else remained outside, wanting to get the last of the sun.

"Have you felt any movement yet?"

"I felt him move for the first time today and I cried. I don't think I've ever loved anybody so much, and I don't think I ever will again" mom gave me a smile as she stroked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I can't believe I'm having a baby. It still feels surreal sometimes" I lightly caressed my bump.

"You can never love someone as much as your own children. You can try but no love will ever compare to the love that parents have for their children."

"Why did Patrick never love me then? Why was he never interested in knowing me? He always called me his baby girl but he never took time out to see me" I looked up at mom, tears having welled in my eyes.

"Baby, he did. You know how much he suffered; he was a damaged man. He loved you and Dallas so much, Baby Girl."

"I just-I know that it's gonna sound stupid and I-I know that Nick is nothing like Patrick, but I am. I have the potential to be exactly like him. What if I turn out like he did? What if I let my child down?" mom shook her head as I spoke, tears welling in her eyes as mine began their journey down my cheeks. "I'm like him in so many ways. I've suffered from the exact same thing. I have the exact same issues as him. What if I turn into him? What if I..."

"No, Baby" mom cut me off, wiping at my cheeks with her thumb. "You aren't Patrick, Demi."

"But I am, Mom. I'm exactly like him, you-you know how much I've struggled with my sobriety over the last couple of years. What if I break it? What if I end up snapping and I hurt my baby? I don't want to hurt him, Mom. I don't want to ever be the reason for his pain. Mom, I don't know whether I can do this. I don't think I'm strong enough for this" she shook her head and circled her arms around my neck, pulling me tightly into her. I nuzzled my head into her neck and completely broke down against her.

"Hey, I was wondering where you two had got too" the sound of Nick's voice just caused me to nuzzle myself further into my mom, my heart broke at the thought of ever letting him down. "Dems?" I jumped when I felt a hand on my back, the action just caused the tears to fall faster down my cheeks.

What if I turn out to be just like my father?

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