It's Only The Beginning (Book One)

Forty Four

Nick

I think watching Demi in pain is the worst thing in the world and there's nothing I can do. I can't take her pain away and I'm partly responsible for it.

"It hurts so fucking much, Nick" her head lay on my chest, my arms wrapped slightly around her so my hands were gently massaging her lower back.

"Just breathe. Remember to breathe, okay?" she released a breath as she slightly clutched at the sides of my shirt.

"This is your fault."

"I'll happily take the blame" I wrapped my arms around her neck as she wrapped hers around my waist, nuzzling herself more into my chest. "You want to lie back down?" she nodded. I helped her to lower herself down onto the bed, covering her lower half over with the blanket.

"You know when he's here..." I nodded, continuing to play with her fingers as she lay on her side. "Do you want to come and stay with us for a week or two? We can get him into a routine and then we can-we can discuss him coming to stay with you?" the thought of him not actually living with me 24/7, broke my heart, but it's something that I'm just going to have to deal with. I'm the person who pushed Demi away. I'm the person who broke us up. I'm the person who ruined us.

"We can discuss all of that later. Try and get some sleep, okay?" her eyes watched me curiously, but it wasn't long before she had fallen to sleep.

-

"How are you holding up?" mom asked as she lowered herself down beside me. I watched Demi who stirred slightly but thankfully remained asleep.

"Better than Demi" I glanced over at mom as she sent me a smile. "I hate seeing her in pain" I tried to remain quiet, not wanting to wake her. She needs as much rest as possible. "I've always hated seeing her in pain. I remember when her and Joe broke up, that was the first time I ever saw her broken. It was the first time she let me see her like that, it was the first time that I ever saw how much she was really struggling" I gently ran my fingers through Demi's hair as she peacefully slept. "Then when her and Wilmer broke up, she was completely destroyed. I didn't know how I was supposed to help her. I didn't think I could help her but then I did and then I broke her and now she's in pain because of me, again" mom took a hold of my free hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I mean, how am I supposed to help her, Mom?"

"You've just got to be there for her, Nick. Just hold her hand and give her encouraging words because she's gonna need it" I nodded as I tightened my grip on Demi's hand. "She's gonna need all the encouragement she can get. I'm so proud of you for being someone that Demi has, someone who loves her" I nodded, a small smile on my face as I glanced back at her.

"I do" it was at that moment that Demi stirred, a whimper leaving her mouth and my heart broke.

"Ow" I leant forward in my chair, my fingers running through Demi's hair as she scrunched up her face, a single tear drop rolling down her cheek.

"You're doing so amazing, Dems" I leant to press a kiss to her hot and sweaty forehead.

"Why does it hurt so much?" her eyes opened into tiny slits which caused more of her tears to fall.

"Oh, Sweetheart."

"Does it get worse than this?" mom nodded, sending Demi a sympathetic smile as she released a strangled sob. "I don't want to do this anymore" I chuckled but dropped it when Demi sent me a glare, her teary eyes pleading with mine to help. That just added to my guilt. I physically can't help.

"You have to, Dems. Our sons on his way. We're finally gonna meet our little boy, Dem" she rolled her eyes as she rolled onto her back.

"What time is it?"

"It's nearly 10, visiting hours are ending soon so we'll need to leave" mom spoke which caught my attention.

"I'm only 6 centimetres dilated" I could hear the frustration and pain in her voice. "Why is it taking so long? Why doesn't he want to come out?"

"Sweetie, he's your first baby and you've made such a good home for him in there that he's reluctant to leave. The first baby normally takes their time. Kevin took over 48 hours" Demi groaned, and I could tell that she wasn't thrilled to know that piece of information. "I'll leave you two alone, let us know when he's here and we'll make our way back to see him" I nodded and shared a quick hug with mom before she turned her attention to Demi. "Good luck, okay? I love you, Sweetheart" she lightly hugged Demi before she turned to leave the room. The whimpers that were leaving Demi's mouth, were enough to shatter my heart completely.

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