Royal Blood | JJK ✓

27: Deserving

You sighed into the hug, the feeling of ecstasy flowing through you and although all the truth of Jungkook never loving you back was slapping you in the face, you thought that if you could be selfish for just one moment, you would use this time to hold onto him as he was holding onto you.

Besides, the hug didn't meant much, Jungkook was only hugging you to help you as you had asked for his help, there was no feelings attached, at least not yet. The two of you were only passing through your hatreds and becoming..friends?

Either way, a surge of serene rushed through your veins, finally letting your body calm down from all the crying and you were thankful Jungkook had begun to look past hating you.

"I'm not a great person," he said quietly, arms still wrapped around your smaller frame.

"I know," you nodded.

"I'm a jerk."

You found yourself chuckling. "I know."

He gave you a squeeze. "Which means I'll probably be there to hurt your feelings without intending to so I'm sorry again in advance." You hummed in reply. "And, as you know, both our paths won't be easy even as soulmates because, well, you already know."

You nodded. "Y/N," Jungkook sighed sadly as he pulled away a little just enough to have your eyes meeting his. You could see the hesitation in his eyes, how guilty he was feeling at the moment and how upset he was. "You didn't deserve this...to be bonded to me. And now you're hurting because of me but, honestly, I don't know what to do, what I should do."

"I understand," you told him truthfully. "It isn't your fault. This whole thing wasn't in the control of our hands otherwise things would had been different but I'm fine. I'll be fine. I can handle it."

The smile you gave him was a sad one, like you were forcing yourself to be fine in the future even though you knew that you wouldn't be like that when the time came. But again, you were right, he wasn't the one to be blamed on, none of you were. And that was what made it even harder. Because none of you could do anything about it.

"You deserve so much better," Jungkook said gently. "If things had been different, I would tell you to run over to someone else who deserves you, but," he sighed, "the guy has a soulmate waiting for him as well."

"Soulmate," you parroted his word a bit glumly, "I never knew such a thing could turn out this depressing."

"And it's my fault."

You frowned. "Hey don't say that. If anyone, blame fate for doing this."

He nodded slightly and opened his mouth like he was about to say something but was hesitant on it. "Why aren't you complaining?" He asked you, confusion lifted upon his eyes with a small glint of sadness. "In fact, why aren't you hating me the way I had resented you?"

"I can't," you simply said, roaming your eyes elsewhere as you bit your lip out of dejection. "You know how this will go," you whispered quietly then slowly turned your eyes back to meet your soulmate's lingering gaze, "I'm going to fall in love with you."

As much as you hated to admit it, they were true and even Jungkook couldn't deny it. He knew as well just how hurt you were going to be in the future, whether that was close or far away, it was bound to happen.

"No matter how much you're going to hate me and no matter what you do, I'm going to fall in love with you either way."

Jungkook didn't had to say much in return, just three simple words that had caused you to almost break down but you didn't because you were too scared to. Not in front of him. Not when the both of you knew he wasn't going to love you in the future and that even if he did, you'd have to suck up the fact that it won't be him fully in love with you. "I'm so sorry."