Royal Blood | JJK ✓

39: Things in the Past

"You can't walk into the void yet, not until your mind is in a more stable state."

You sat in a lone room with Somi the witch right across from you. The room was so vast, a wooden floor under you, the both of you inside one of the rooms of Somi's home which was literally inside a large tree.

She used the room for concentration, a room to meditate and be at peace. The boys were elsewhere looting around as they waited for your session with the witch that could help you.

"You are strong physically, I can see that, but having a weak mind brings the power all down," she went on, voice calm yet stern. "Balance is what makes up life itself. It's important to be in control of your strength and have a fire burning inside of you, but you must also remember that peace is also an important factor."

"How..how do I put my mind at ease? To be in peace with the counter?" You asked her, getting a little antsy.

She inhaled a breath, her eyes closing as she took in the quietness of the room. You could hear nothing but a calm zephyr and small little leaves flying down onto the wooden floor.

Nature's breath.

"What is it that you fear the most, young vampire?"

Other than the factor of not being loved but that wasn't a problem with Zero. "Weakness," you told her softly, "vulnerability."

To show weakness to others allowed for them to take advantage of you yet you always found yourself at the end of the road, stuck and trapped. You hated being weak, because people took that weakness to force you down to your knees, hurting you in the process.

Zero had seen that your weakness lied in your parents so at your most weakened state with no strength to fight, he turned you into a complete vulnerable mess.

Your weakness and vulnerability allowed for him to gain power and have his own way as much as he pleased.

You hated it but it was your fault for not being strong enough. It was your fault you couldn't fight. Your fault your parents had died.

Why were you even given the royal blood in the first place? You were nothing but a weakling.

"There is no one that can help you find peace within your own self except for your own, dear one."

You stayed in the room for a while, maybe even a few days but you had no idea. Sitting there in that room made you lose counts of the minutes and hours that had passed.

Somi had told you to look back on your past, to see if there was something worthwhile there. Because maybe that was at your happiest moments, when you had felt that the world fell at your feet at those younger ages.

So you looked back. But nothing had helped.

You saw yourself as you had closed your eyes, saw your past self before she was turned a vampire that fateful night.

As a little kid, you enjoyed being free but also wanted to grow up so badly, thinking things were easier because you'd get more privileges in life.

When you saw the dreams in your six years old self, you felt happy, content.

But there was also a bad side, because even as a little kid, you didn't liked talking to people. You were a shy little kid who just wanted to make friends but had been too scared to approach people.

And it gained you onlookers, wondering why you were alone and why you didn't had any friends. Classmates called you a loner, made fun of you because you were that one kid without a friend.