Royal Blood | JJK ✓

42: You are You

"Y/N?"

"Uh..."

You blinked, not knowing exactly why your feet had led you to Hoseok's room but now that you were there, you had to tell him something.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just..Jimin wasn't in his room when I looked and...and I didn't really wanted to be alone anymore. But I didn't really wanted to speak to someone's who's blunt like Yoongi, or mature guys who'll use logic and their intelligence like Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung and not saying that you're not mature or dumb or anything but...just...I feel more at ease speaking to you."

You wanted to cringe at your rambling but what could you do? You knew that staying in your room alone wasn't the best way to go about things so why not have someone else's presence when you could?

He realized that you didn't mentioned Jungkook, you knew that, and he knew speaking to your soulmate wasn't what you wanted since the revelation so Hoseok just laughed. "I would had invited you in without your rambles either way but, thanks," the vampire smiled, stepping back as he opened his door wider and gesturing you in.

But before you could step inside, the male suddenly stepped in front of you, getting a better idea. "You know what, rooms are suffocating. You need the outside world."

He waited for your answer and seeing your hesitation, Hoseok smiled. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. We'll tell the others we're going out so they'll be prepared in case there's a cry for help," he promised, patting you lightly on the head.

With the soft touches and genuine smile Hoseok gave you, you already felt protected. So you nodded, allowing him to lead the two of you because he was right, rooms were too suffocating and you didn't needed that.

"Hobi...what do you think about the reincarnation?" You asked the male once outside, words hesitant and afraid of even speaking about the topic. But you knew you had to say something. After all, keeping it all inside wasn't going to help anyone.

"Now that we know, it makes sense," Hoseok said. "And maybe that's why Yuri sacrificed herself. Because she knew there'd be a reincarnation."

"I've been having strange dreams," you admitted, thinking back to those dreams you've had of Jungkook. "But now that I think about it, I don't think they were dreams at all."

"What were they?"

"Memories," you realized. "Yuri's life, snippets of her life. It makes sense. I couldn't move or say the things I wanted to because the movements had already been set in place, the story had already happened. There wasn't anything that could be altered. But..." you trailed off, confused and still..hurt. "I guess now we all know that I've been living as...Yuri...not Y/N."

"You're still Y/N."

"I can't be Y/N," you shook your head, trying to convince not Hoseok but yourself, "how can I? From day one, I was born because I was somebody else. Do you know how—" you paused, trying to find the right words, "frightening that is? To find out I'm not my own person but living as somebody."

In all honesty, you didn't wanted to believe your own self. Who would want to live a life as somebody else no matter how many flaws they had?  Who wanted to live in somebody else's shoes?

Why did it had to be you?

Your whole life you had believed you were you, living as Y/N, feelings that belonged to yours alone. So did that meant everything that had came to be had all been Yuri? Were your growing feelings actually Yuri's?

"You can't say that if you weren't yourself, Y/N. It doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't make sense?" You argued. "It makes perfect sense."