Byron's Secret (Slenderman Romance)

Chapter 78. A Memory

【Byron's POV】

"My jaw is so tired." I complained, finally on my last bite of the sandwich. While eating may have its perks, it still has its downsides for me.

Tim stared at me in curiosity, "I never thought I'd hear someone say that after eating a sandwich." He chuckled, "How long has it been since you ate?"

"I'm not sure." I shook my head, standing from the chair to go over the kitchen while still paying attention to him, "After I got the curse, I was still eating for a while, wasn't I?"

I head over to the sink and washed my hands, flinching at the cold water at first. Tim spoke with a louder voice to overpower the stream of water hitting the sink, "Yeah, but you stopped. I thought maybe you were eating alone since you didn't join us for food anymore."

"No, I didn't have the appetite and stopped eating. I remember that by the third day, I was getting worried that I wasn't becoming hungry." I explained as I turned the water off and dried my hands by shaking them, "Days later, I stopped caring and just chucked it off as the curse's doing. Same with the other changes." I added as I went back to the living room and onto my seat.

Tim nodded, "That was years ago . . . Well, now, you gotta build up your jaw muscles again."

I took a while to respond, "Still, I wonder why my body is reverting so suddenly."

He looked at the floor in deep thought, "Weird things are happening lately." He paused, "Well, weirder things." His lip twitched upwards for a moment before becoming a straight line once more, "This Toby person, your reverting body, the things we found in the hideout, you and Joy, Brian and Rachel . . . So far, I'm the only one who has been normal. Not much changed for me. Just dealing with the new things."

I slowly nodded in agreement, "Yes . . . truthfully, it's a little frightening." I admitted, "These things might cause us a problem in the near future."

He thought for a second before answering back, "Personally, I think it's scary, but good."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Good how?"

"'Cause it means things are changing and it could get better or worse." Tim answered vaguely which made him explain further, "As long as there's a slight chance for things to get better, I'd rather take it than stay in the same old routine. You were only getting worse."

Well, he is not wrong. When I first got the curse, it was easier to retain my hold on my own consciousness. It means I did not have to worry about some other being to take over my body. All I needed was fear and that wasn't difficult to gain in this town filled with people where rumors and old tales were easily believed and spread. Eventually, everyone was scared of 'The Tall Man' that they spoke of. It kept me going for a couple of years without fail. I thought everything would be fine by then, but after some time, I would lose sight of myself and there would only be bloodlust. I nearly hurt Tim and Brian back when it happened.

Then there was that voiceーthe same voice I hear in my nightmaresーit's dark and foreboding, and it wants me to kill people in exchange for my consciousness. I ultimately did because I did not want it, or whatever controls me, to hurt Tim or Brian or any other person who happens to be there while it takes over. It doesn't choose who.

I always tell myself that I murder people so I could hurt less and protect the others. While it is true, it will never change the fact that I have and always will have blood on my hands. These are sins that will never be washed away no matter the reason I do it, even if it were for the good of others.

With every passing kill, the time it keeps me a hold of myself grows shorter, then I'd have to kill again. The horrid cycle repeats. Currently, I would last for a couple of months, but Tim worries that I would eventually last for a week or two if this keeps upーthat would render all the resistance and efforts useless because by then, I'd need to kill a lot of people just to get by. It won't be much of a difference if I were in control of myself or not.