The Repears Return! (Fairytail X Naruto)

Chapter 19

"HE WHAT!" The fume coming off of Kakashi could rival Natsu's. "He kissed me." 

"I'm gonna kill that bastard!" His rage was clear as the moon above us. I sighed, I still don't get the whole love thing. I get this weird feeling like butterflies are in my stomach whenever he is around me. "Please do." 

I saw his visible eye soften as he looked at me. "Do you feel guilty?"

My eyes widened slightly, did he figure me out that easily. "I also felt similar when I was younger. Like Tsunade said, you can return here. Don't push yourself into doing something you can't." 

"I can't not yet. I don't think I could face Naruto or Sai after what I have done. They think that I have betrayed the leaf. I can see it in Naruto's eyes when we met at the hideout. He still hoped there was some reason left in me. I hurt him! I left the fairies because I was selfish! They had done everything for me! A home, a family that didn't leave or disown me! After Atlas left I was devastated I tried to kill myself! That's when I met Natsu, he accepted me for the reject I was. A monster, that's what everybody called me. I know Naruto also felt that way, he probably still does. So yes I do feel guilty!" Before I knew what I was saying tears started to drop down my porcelain like skin. Kakashi's eyes were clear as day, pity. 

"That's the look they all give, they don't understand the pain of bottling everything up. I don't smile because that's not me! I smile because I don't want others to give me that look. The look of sadness, the look of betrayal. I know Naruto feels similar ways to me. He's to innocent to see the cruel ways of this fucked up world. Eyes of strangers, people you don't even know, looking at you sadness in their eyes. I hate it, every second of it. I gave up on life and humanity itself I tried to take my own life away. Somebody always stopping me from being happy. Sometimes I just wish the people I have killed would come back and kill me." I was engulfed in a hug, tears flowing off my face, they felt as if they were drowning me. The weight I had been carrying on my shoulders seemed to lighten. 

For the first time in what seemed like years, I smiled. A smile that wasn't fake and didn't hide my sadness. It was a genuine smile. The one my mother fell in love with, the one my father despised. The one Atlas smiled along with. I felt warm tears fall on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I never noticed." 

We sat in silence, not an awkward one that one would try to break. But more of a comfortable one, even a pin dropping could break it. My cloak blowing in the brisk wind as we sat. I pulled away from the hug, wiping my tears away. "I apologize, I should stay more in control of my emotions."

"Nonsense, any person shouldn't feel that way. Somebody should always have someone to fall back on. I'm happy to know that Naruto has you." His voice was in a whisper, as if speaking too loud would break me. "Had." 

"What?" I looked him in the eyes, all happiness in my voice fading. "He had me, after what I did. I wouldn't be surprised if he hates me." 

"If you know Naruto like I do, you know he isn't like that. He still has hope for Sasuke even." I nodded slightly, his innocence and forgiveness is something not everybody has. "Even still, it breaks my heart just knowing I am part of the pain." 

My eyes were red and puffy, my once porcelain skin was stained with tears. Hands shaking from the confessions, my mind running fifty miles a minute. Then there was the normal heart rate. 

I pushed myself off the tree we were sitting in. Letting my good leg absorb the shock as I hit the ground.  I readjusted my brace, tightening a few straps as I straightened myself up.  

"That isn't temporary is it?" I looked at the ground, my brace catching the moonlight. "No, according to most people who know, I shouldn't continue to fight. The nerve damage in my upper thigh is extensive. Even with my knowledge of the human body, I couldn't find a loop hole in the body. The kunai went through my musle, tearing them in the process." 

"That bad, eh." He seemed to be dazed, he himself staring off into nowhere. He suddenly perked up and looked at me. "Have you talked to Tsunade about it yet, she is quite the extrodaniry healer. The best the leaf has to offer."

"The village has done so much for me that I can't see her doing anything else for me. I owe this village my life." I spoke in a soft tone, my hoarse voice finally smoothing out. "If you won't ask her then I will."

"Maybe I will consider it, there's not much I haven't heard yet." I said, readjusting the scythe on my back. "We knew you came for your scythe, that's why we left it in your apartment."  

"I appreciate it, thank you for everything, Kakashi." I hugged him one last time, as if it was the last I would see of him forever. 

"I really need to go." I said as I started to walk away, the scent of dogs leaving my nose. The only thing I smelt now was the scent of trees filling the air. As I grew closer blood was also promptly in the air.