KittyHazelnut is Weird

WHAT THE FUCK SAM

Sooooo I have dance from 6:00 to 9:00 on Thursdays and SPN airs from 8:00 to 9:00 which means I gotta watch it on the CW app instead. Sounds easy, right?

WRONG!

I first started watching SPN because my dad was watching the Bloody Mary episode and I thought it was a horror movie so I say down to watch it even though that was going to be the last episode my dad watched before he decided it was too boring, so my dad and I have always watched new episodes together, which means we have to watch season 14 together, and since my dad's not a teenager, he can't stare at a tiny phone screen like I can, so we tried to get the app to work on his tablet and then connect it to the tv

We spent AN HOUR trying to get that this to work (well like 45 minutes whatever) and it would show on the TV easily but the app wasn't working.

Just cuz I like trying stuff, I searched the Roku tv thing (that has Netflix and Hulu and CW Seed and all that) for a way to download the CW app (which is different than the CW Seed because I wouldn't have thought to try to find it if we didn't have the Seed) and it literally took two minutes. We wasted 45 FUCKING MINUTES when the CW app on the Roku is fifty billion times easier and honestly fuck my life

So my dad and I finally got to watch the episode, and this is the part where I say

S P O I L E R S

(For season 14 episode 1 obviously)

(So yeah don't keep reading if you have want seen it)

(Kay?)

(Awesome)

I'm gonna assume that anyone still reading (if anyone is still reading idk) has seen the episode and now I'm gonna rant

So I got a notification from my spn Twitter than someone tweeted that they're sick of hetero relationships like Sam and someone and Jack and someone and I was like UM BITCH WHAT DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL ME JACK HAS A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND HE'S MENTALLY A TWELVE YEAR OLD AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS

and then I watched the episode and what's-her-face was completely irrelevant to the storyline and idek why she was there cuz she's so not necessary that I don't even know her name but I was so freaking worried that she was only there because she and Jack are gonna get together and I was like BITCH NO FUCK THAT and then they didn't and I felt better but WHAT IF THEY DO GET TOGETHER IM NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THAT and I was bitching about it to my dad and he kept saying I was jealous (haha jokes on him I'm aro/ace) and I was like NO I'M JUST FUCKING PISSED THAT THIS LIL BABY IS GONNA HAVE A GIRLFRIEND (and honestly a boyfriend would piss me off just as much cuz hes NOT MEANT FOR THAT OKAY DON'T DO MY BABY LIKE THIS) also this has nothing to do with my desire for representation or anything cuz honestly I couldn't care less if asexuality was represented in anything but the fact that they think my LITERAL 17-MONTH-OLD BABY SHOULD HAVE A GIRLFRIEND PISSES ME OFF and like they probably aren't gonna make them hook up or anything but it still pisses me off that they might do you see my struggle

Okay moving on

BOBBY HAS A SOULMATE AND IT IS NOT MARY IT IS JODY (although I would compromise for Bobby x Ellen and Jody x Donna) AND MARY HAS A SOULMATE AND IT IS KETCH NOT BOBBY (and I will take a grand total of zero compromises for that) AND IT LOWKEY LOOKED LIKE THEY LIKE EACH OTHER AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS

also

SAM WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU LET JACK GO WITH YOU HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DO FUCKING ANYTHING WHAT THE FUCK MAKE HIM STAY HOME AND ICE HIS FACE AFTER BOBBY DESTROYED HIM

ALSO IT HURTS MY SOUL TO SEE JACK LOOK BEAT UP AT SO AND HIS FACE WAS RED FOR THE ENTIRE EPISODE AFTER HIS FIRST SCENE AND IT'S PAINFUL TO WATCH

And fucking Sam left in the middle of his heart-to-heart with Jack when he needed it most just cuz fucking Nick was awake like bitch Nick ain't going anywhere you can talk to him later but JACK IS HURTING PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY AND YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE HIM WTF SAM YOU WERE MY FAVORITE JACK DAD I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHAT THE FUCK

also I was so excited to see nick again and now he's back and I'm like ??? Idk what to do with this information like I think I need more scenes with him to fully process this

But if an archangel blade only kills the angel and not the vessel, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO GABRIEL'S VESSEL IS HE JUST LOCKED IN THE AU FOREVER CUZ THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME SO SAD

But how did they know Nick was alive? I'm guessing they didn't check for a pulse. He must have moved once Lucifer was dead. If he could survive the blade and be up and about right after, so should gabriel, right? So Gabriel can't actually be dead, or Sam and Dean (or at least Michael and Lucifer) would have noticed his vessel moving which means that this wasn't the real gabriel that died right

Okay anddddd I had other stuff to complain about hold on lemme think

OOH HOW BOUT THE FACT THAT CONTINUITY DOES NOT EXIST like Jo could see Michael's true form but cas didn't know he was surrounded by demons? I think the fuck not?

And I feel like when the Winchester's get a call from Cas there's like a 30% chance it's actually some bad guy that kidnapped him

Also Cas is an angel so he can heal people (like Shaggy in ScoobyNatural!) so why the fuck did he not heal himself? Or Jack? Or Sam? Um?

Okay but the main thing I wanted to say was that I think this seasons gonna suck. It's got way too many irrelevant people. All the bunker-mates are no-names that you'll see in passing and it basically just seems like the BMOL but good guys and I don't like it -_- but on the bright side Jack is there so it's gonna be lit

Y'all this reached over 1100 words this is officially the length of a chapter of my fanfics why the fuck can't I write this fast on my actual fanfics