KittyHazelnut is Weird

Well

So today was my third day of school.

Holes in the Floor of Heaven came on in the car and I started crying because it reminded me of my grandmother and my mom had to change the station.

So.

That's life.

Anyway first block is guitar and it's so much better than piano and fuck yeah best class ever

Then it's java and fuck my life

Then it's English and not only is my teacher the nicest person on the planet but I have two friends in the class

Then it's psych and honestly idk it doesn't really feel like a class yet 

And I decided to make a good first impression by bringing the book I found in my backpack (I must have had it last year?) to school like fuck yeah teachers I read 

AND I LOVED IT

Idk if y'all have read Cassandra Clare's shadowhunter books but nothing I'm gonna say is gonna spoil the book and you don't actually need context for it which is the best part, but you should read the Mortal Instruments series anyway (and then the Infernal Devices trilogy which is even better) (then the Dark Artifices trilogy but I've tried reading it a couple times and I never really got into it so that's my next goal) and then the Bane Chronicals (the best collection of short stories of all time) then the Shadowhunter Codex (that's not even a story it's just a shadowhunter textbook with funny notes from the Mortal Instruments characters) and then you should read The Eldest Curses trilogy (except only one is out yet fml) (also I'm pretty sure y'all will be infinitely more interested if I tell you it's gay so yeah the two main dudes are dating you're welcome now read TMI and then that book)

Anyway I was reading the first book of the Eldest Curses and it was basically about Magnus and Alec just kinda being little shits (I mean there's a plot and everything but y'all don't get to know that until you read it). And there are so many good lines and I wanted to save them all but I knew that would take forever and I'd never finish the book so I'm just gonna give you this part and I'm gonna skip a lot of the not-dialogue bc I'm lazy. 

All you need to know is that Raphael is the most pessimistic person/vampire in literary history, and he basically hates everyone and everything and he's basically just this grumpy vampire. Plot-wise, Alec just saved a faerie and Raphael is next to him.

"Good reflexes!" she (the faerie) said brightly. "Also good arms. Would you be so interested in a night of tumultuous forbidden passion, with an option to extend to seven years?"

"Um, I am gay," Alec said.

The faerie accepted it with a shrug, then looked over at Raphael and lit up. "How about you, Vampire Without a Cause?"

"I'm not gay," Raphael said. "I'm not straight. I'm not interested."

"Your sexuality is 'not interested'?" Alec asked curiously.

"That's right."

The faerie thought for a moment, then ventured, "I can also assume the appearance of a tree!"

"I didn't say 'not interested unless you're a tree.'"

So I only put the tree part in because it was funny but I just want y'all to admire this wonderful demonstration of asexuality which I'm pretty sure wasn't the point but I thought it was awesome so I literally took a picture of that page to post here you're welcome

And now, allow me to leave you with this one out of context part that is so much better if you read it in a deadpan-ish voice

"Thank you, Alexander," Magnus said. "Alas, the octopus monster is attacking again."

Okay I lied I'm adding this one part from after the octopus monster because it's funny and then it's cute.

"You should've asked me to take care of that poison immediately."

Alec shook his head. "If you recall, an octopus demon was carrying you away."

"Yes," Magnus said. "About that. I deeply appreciate you saving my life. I'm very attached to my life. However, if it comes to a choice between your life and mine,  Alec, remember I have already lived a very long time."