So my mom got Black Panther from the library and I was so excited to watch it because I know it's been super successful and I haven't heard a single bad thing about it and it has all black leads and fuck yeah we love diversity and it seemed great
I literally stopped the movie halfway through it because it was so fucking boring
And then I went back a couple hours later because I was morally obligated to finish it because it's Marvel
So y'all are probably gonna hate me for this but I'm honestly just really fired up right now because I've been wanting to watch this movie since it came out and it was so fucking stupid and if you haven't seen the movie or don't want to read someone complaining about it because you liked it, feel free to leave, but I'm probably gonna save this chapter for a future argument between Charlie and some other nerd in the Strings Attached series eventually and I'll (hopefully) forget the entire movie by the time that chapter comes around
First of all, the movie was supposed to be entirely focused on Wakanda and the Wakandans, so there were only two white characters in the whole thing (and rightfully so) but they were the second and fourth best characters in the movie (idk most people's names but the best characters were Shuri the sass master, the white bad guy cuz he was singing during he interrogation, the black bad guy cuz he's funny, and then Martin Freeman's character not even because Martin Freeman's character was cool but just cuz I like Martin Freeman and all the other characters were meh) like this is not what I signed up for? Give me more Sam Wilsons and less barking like freaking dogs when the white guy tries to talk to you (seriously wtf why was that a thing) (idek if it was cuz he's white but they kinda let everyone else talk so I'm assuming it is)
And is no one gonna talk about how whatsherface (the girl Martin Freeman's guy took a bullet for) didn't want him in the country because he wasn't born there? Even if it would save his life? I have never seen that mentioned before? And I follow a bazillion marvel blogs on tumblr? Is that not the problem liberals (obviously the target demographic of the movie) have with ICE, especially under the Trump administration? And no one cares? Maybe I'm just biased because Martin Freeman was the fourth person character in the movie and I wanted him to live, but that kinda pissed me off? Everyone's so quick to drag Tony Stark but no one gives a damn about whatsherface just willing to let a man die?
And Wakanda lied about having all their vibranium stolen and as far as I can tell (and correct me if I'm wrong) (seriously please correct me I'm really hoping this movie isn't as stupid as I thought) they never explained why they claimed it was all their vibranium when they had a whole bunch more, and Martin Freeman's character didn't even really care? Idek if Martin Freeman's character (I should google the name if I'm gonna keep talking about him but I won't) believed the bad dude after T'Challa said the line about believing the guy tied up to a chair and idek if we're supposed to believe the guy tied up to a chair cuz I thought there was a fuckton of vibranium there but T'Challa said/implied there wasn't and idk why he'd be lying because the bad guys are supposed to be the only ones who lie without reason so I'm confusion?
And when the black bad guy (I don't wanna call him that cuz it sounds kinda racist but there's the bad black guy and bad white guy so I kinda gotta be specific and idk what the guy's name is and idk how to google that so I'm just gonna call him bbg) wanted to be king, we had literally no reason to think he shouldn't be. The only reason the rest of the rulers of Wakanda gave was that he was an outsider (*cough* like a bunch of republicans *cough*) and all he really said he wanted to do was help other people like them who aren't Wakandan and that kinda sounds like a good thing to me? And obviously when he burnt shit down that was a bad sign but we didn't know that at first, and when the two ladies had their dramatic argument before one stayed by bbg's side and one went and helped T'Challa, we didn't really know why we shouldn't like bbg other than the fact that the writers clearly didn't want us to like him. Looking at it without the bias of having seen T'Challa the whole movie and already having that emotional bond with him, it looks like two descendants of a king had equal rights to the throne, and when bbg won, T'Challa's family was pissed that their son/brother/friend wasn't going to be ruler, so they lowkey resurrected him from the almost-dead. And honestly, after finding out that T'Challa's dad killed bbg's dad (his own brother) without a reason given (that I remember), I kinda don't get why we should still like T'Challa & co.?
But then when T'Challa came back, he hadn't died or given in, so bbg didn't have the right to the throne anymore so the people working with him shouldn't have been blindly loyal to him anymore. The fact that the majority of the Wakandans we saw during that period would pick bbg over T'Challa makes me think that maybe bbg wasn't that bad after all
And it didn't even matter in the end because they spent the whole damn movie trying to keep everything Wakandan in Wakanda and then they just go to freaking California and drop a space ship in the middle of a basketball field, and when one kid tries to talk to that random grown ass adult watching these pre teen boys playing sports together, T'Challa just smiles like a freaking pervert or something.
So yeah that's my rant about how much Black Panther does not deserve its 97% on Rotten Tomatoes
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and how they should make another movie that's just Shuri and Peter Parker (and maybe Peter's friend and Zendaya's character in Spider-Man) going around being dorks cuz Shuri's the only genuinely good part about the movie
Also let's just take a moment to admire the power of the liberals because that was a really shitty movie and the only reason it was that popular was because there was finally a mainstream movie with an almost-entirely black cast and liberals (as an umbrella term) live for that type of thing so like bravo to them 👏
