45. "I feel the same way."

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^^ pleasseee read that if you can. It's something I think needed to be talked about.

Chris

"Happy birthday to you!" My father finally finished singing, before placing the cupcake on the table in front of me.

"Why you look so sad man?"

"I haven't heard from Bria. We were supposed to do something today."

"It's early Chris. You have all day. Right now focus on my gift." He said dropping a heavy envelope in front of me. There's a lot in there.

"You can open it whenever, just don't spend it on something foolish."

"Ok dad."

"I'm going out tonight, you don't want to meet up with any of your friends?"

Man I used to have a lot of friends.

"You sure do go out a lot dad."

"What can I say? I'm a popular guy."

"Sounds like you've got a boyfriend to me."

"Boyfriend? Whaaat? No...it's not like that." He said laughing guiltily, before taking a seat at the table.

"Sure it's not. Since you're so popular..I could really use some advice-"

"Aww of course! Not gonna lie, I don't know very much about girls these days but I can help."

"Well the other night, Bria woke up and saw-"

"Wait a minute. You and Brianna were sleeping together?!"

Shit.

"No..I mean- like- she was taking a nap..and uh woke up. She saw on my phone I was texting another girl, I thought she was chill about it..but things between us are weird."

"Have you apologized?"

"Yeah..but she keeps saying she isn't mad. I just want things to go back to how they used to be."

"So tell her that. Duh."

"It's not that simple." I said putting my face in my hands.

"Here's what I'd do. Write her a letter. A handwritten letter. Tell her how you feel. If she feels the same good. If not..it may be time to let her go."

"I don't want to just let her go though."

"No one just wants to let people go. But if it's what you need it's what you need Christopher. Think about it."

Bria

Christopher's birthday. It was now 8 and I still hadn't reached out to him. The thought of him struck an emotion in me..but not a good one.

More like that emotion that it struck when he was just the asshole that sat behind me in biology.

Forest was still asleep at the foot of my bed. He'd been so excited to surprise Chris on his birthday..the guilt is killing me.

me:
hey Chris. happy 18th :)

Seconds later I got a response.

Chris 🙄:
I need to talk to you. Can I stop by?

Not really the answer I was expecting.

Me:
Sure. You close by?

Chris🙄:
Ten minutes

It seemed like he was oblivious to his actions yesterday, now it seems like he's the one who's pissed off.

Chris gets under my skin, like deep under my skin. But I can't see myself completely without him, right now at least..and I'm hopping that's now what he's wanting to talk about.

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