HTTYD ONE SHOT BOOK

Broken

WARNING: Light swearing, and suicidal thoughts/cutting

'It should have been you. If you hadn't gone after Dragon he wouldn't have died. YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HIM YOU FOOL!'  

Hiccup placed his hands over his ears trying to block out his own thoughts, tears were in his eyes. It had been about 3 months since Stoick's death, and besides becoming chief, Hiccup was depressed. After all it was his fault that his father had died, wasn't it? At least that's what he told himself. 

"It wasn't your fault....it wasn't my fault....it was my damn fault!!" Hiccup exclaimed, with no one to hear him, as he was at the cove.

'Of course it was your fault. You wanted to talk Drago out of his plan. If you hadn't done it, your dad would still be alive,' His thoughts told him. 

Panicking he walked over to the lake and looked at himself. 

He looked like a mess. His hair looked so untamed, he had bags under his bloodshot eyes, and he just looked like he had been in a dragon stamped and got trampled. As he brought his hands up to run his hands through his hair in an attempt to tame it, his eyes landed on his knife. 

'I shouldn't....I haven't since before Toothless....' part of him said, the other said, 'But you should, you got your own father killed.'

Slowly lowering his hands he grabbed his knife and unsheathed it. Looking at the blade, which was glimmering a bit in the sunlight, Hiccup rolled up his sleeves to reveal many other scars, which littered the undersides of his arms. Raising the blade he slowly made another mark and watched it bleed, unknowing that a certain blond and dragon were watching.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Astrid had been in the forest practicing, when Toothless had pounced on her with a gummy smile. Smiling back at the cat like dragon, Astrid began to pet his head asking, "Where's Hiccup?" 

Toothless suddenly turned serious, as he sniffed the air. Abruptly he began to run towards the cove. Confused Astrid ran after the large dragon, calling, "Toothless?" 

She soon found him by the edge of the cove, watching something, probably a bird...or Hiccup. Astrid looked before gasping. Hiccup had his sleeves rolled up, revealing faded scars as well as a new mark. In his left hand was a knife, he looked at the knife before lowering it to his other arm. 

"HICCUP WHAT IN THE NAME OF ODIN ARE YOU DOING?!" Astrid yelled, running over to him.

Gasping he looked up at her before dropping the knife, trying to roll his sleeves down. She got there before he could and quickly pulled his arms out so she could inspect them. Squirming to get out of her grasp, Hiccup let out a small whimper, which got Astrid's attention. 

"Hiccup? Why?" Astrid asked, looking at Hiccup with tears pooling in her eyes.

"I-I.." Hiccup tried to speak, his voice cracking. 

"Hiccup? Please.....what's wrong?" Astrid asked, her heart breaking.

"It's my fault that Dad's gone..." Hiccup cried, breaking down a bit, "It's my damn fault cause I was an idiot...Why couldn't I have listened to him?"

"Hiccup...it's not your..." Astrid began, pulling him to her.

He quickly pushed away and looked at her angrily, "Not my fault? NOT MY FAULT?! IT IS MY FAULT! GODS-DAMN IT ASTRID! IT IS MY FAULT!" 

That's when he broke down fully. Astrid watched as he placed his head in his knees, and his body convulsing with body wrenching sobs. Cautiously Astrid scooted closer to him, before pulling him to herself. He clung to her as if she was his life support. Astrid rubbed his back lightly and gently shushed him. 

After about thirty minutes he quieted down. Still in her arms, he asked, "Astrid....why did he have to die? Why couldn't it have been me?" 

"Because Stoick was a loving father who wanted you to live. He was willing to risk himself for you....Like you've done for me and the others." 

"But still....it should've been me Astrid...He should be here with Mom not me..."

"Hey, then who would I be with? Hiccup I need you....I love you. I would've died if you had died...." 

Hiccup looked up into her bright blue eyes, and then said, "I love you too Astrid..." 

That's when Toothless came down and curled around them. Leaning against Toothless, they ended up falling asleep, still clinging to each other. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have no more ideas at the moment.....
I've had this idea for months and finally wrote it......

Anyway......

Feel free to request some stuff..........

God's blessings
Mag