bad expectations | jfg

07

My heart started racing fast at the sight of my mother, standing in my driveway, with such anger in her eyes.

Jack pulled in very slowly, and I knew right when I got out he would pull away fast.

I slid my hand over the smooth door and clicked it open, my mother walked her feet quickly over and whipped it all the way open.

My eyes widen in fear as she grits her teeth together. What the hell?

"Taylor Marie Greyson!" She screams, making my shoulders jump back.

My head immediately fills with confusion and I feel as if I may be dreaming. She has never yelled at me, not like this.

"How could you leave the house to meet such shit! Absolute shit!" She's screeching, literally screeching at me and I swear that there is red in her eyes. Red. There is, she's been drinking.

I squint my eyes just to get a better look and because it's so dark. She never drinks, she's not even a social drinker. She's always told me to never either, which is the reason I avoid it at all costs. But she most definitely has. She has the same bloodshot look that all the kids at the parties have.

Has she been somewhere? A bar? She doesn't even have friends and the people that she associates with definitely don't drink either.

"What happened to my daughter?" My eyes un squint when she talks again. Her hands fall, along with her eyebrows, "How can you open your legs to someone so filthy!" She screams. 

My eyes are stretched open and I feel as if they'll never be normal again. My mouth moves up and down in shock, I don't know what to say to my mother as she stands here with wide eyes.

"It wasn't her fault." Jack's calm voice speaks behind me, bringing odd comfort into my mind. Oh gosh, please be quiet.

Her eyes dart to him and then back to me, she continuously blinks because due to her not doing so for a good minute. "Leave." She points down the street.

I hear his slow breaths behind me before he speaks, "Okay."

I begin to step out of the car and brace myself for the words she'll punish me with inside, but she wraps her painted nails around my leg and pushes with all her muscle to make sure I remain seated.

She looks at me with complete disgust, "you're not welcome in that-" she swallows hard, "that house. The house that y-your father works for, and you don't care." She's simply not making sense but her yelling is toning down fast and I feel like she's going to faint. That'll be a mess.

"I-" I begin to speak but she interrupts me when she wraps her hand around the side of Jack's door, slamming it shut.

What? Is the only word that can go into my head as she stairs at me through Jack's car window. What?

I sit in complete shock and I don't understand what's happening. I feel bad for Jack and I can't imagine his thoughts right now, he probably thinks I live with a complete nutcase.

She continues to watch me through the window before slamming the front of Jack's jeep and screaming, "get out!"

"What the hell do I do?" He quietly mumbles. I know he's torn and I feel awkward, scared and confused all at the same time. I bring my hand up to my lip and bite my nail before slowly shrugging while I feel unnecessary tears threatening to pour out of my eyes. She looks like a maniac as she watches us and Jack begins to slowly pull out of the driveway. I see him look at me, not knowing what he should do.

My mother. The women that is always so put together and was the one that taught me to control my anger. I don't understand what could have caused her to get so drunk but at least she's at home and not out. There's never any alcohol in our house though, how could she have gotten it? If she bought it, why did she?