Destiny & Distance

15°

—Jenny? -she asked-

I didn't wanted Jenny to feel bad over me, it's happening, I don't want Gabriela to feel as if I used her, I think it'll be happening. Fuck Chris, what did you do in your past life? Cause karma is going hard on you

—Yeah, Jenny... Look, Jenny is this girl I used to be with -I told her, her face was expressionless now-

—Oh, I see. -Everyone stays quiet- and when did you guys broke up? I didn't know you had a... date? Girlfriend?

Her face now was a mix between hurt and irony, I can't fuck this up. I know I had to do the right thing from the beginning but I was in denial, I'll try my best not to hurt Gabriela, I can't hurt two girls, this isn't me

—Girlfriend, she was my girlfriend. We.. uhm.. -I scratched my neck- Gabriela, we need to talk, but alone -I motion her to follow me, she doesn't-

—So you guys sleep together -Scott says, this isn't the best moment, Scott- well, not slept but fucked

I scoff while rolling my eyes, Shanna hit Scott in his arm, Gabriela was still there, quiet, trying to analyze everything I guess

—Scott, you aren't being appropriate, whatever happens between Chris and Gabriela is none of your business and you don't have to put them in this awkward position, not right now -Lisa scolds him, thanks mom, I owe you one-

—Actually, I gotta go -Gabriela finally speaks- I'll go grab my things -she awkwardly smiles at my siblings and mom, but ignores me-

She leaves the kitchen and I turn back to face Carly and Scott

—Couldn't you just shut up? You're always so nosy and want to now everyone else's business, when have I messed with your life? Never! -I tell them angry before leaving the kitchen to find Gabriela-

She was at my room looking for some bag she had, which I didn't realized she did.

—I'll take you home -I offer her-

—Don't need it. Thanks -she replies without looking at me-

—I know you don't need it but I want to take you home

She turns around to face me

—Chris, stop. I don't know what you're trying to do, just let it go -her eyes reflect anger, but she's calm- I don't know why I was expecting you to be a better person than a player, I guess I was wrong, you're just a typical Hollywood actor

Those words did hurt me.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have feelings towards Gabriela more than a friendship, but there's just something about her. I don't want to be on bad terms with her, not after she probably is going to spend a lot of time with my family

—I'm not an average manwhore, only if you'd let me explain. Let's do this: I'll take you home and we could talk in your house, alone, it'll be more private

—I said no, I'm gonna walk home, I need to be alone

Can't let her go like this, otherwise there will be a tension between us forever

—If you don't let me take you home, then I'll follow you around in my car -I smirked, she was trying to hold a laugh-

—What is it that you want to talk to me, Chris? I don't get it why you're so anxious about this, just drop it

—Because I fucking am anxious, Gabbie. That's who I am, what can I do? And I really appreciate you, too... So please, it'll be just a small talk. Okay?

—Fine then.

~

We arrive to her apartment but all she has done is ignore me

—It's cute and cozy -I compliment his home-

—Thanks -she smiles- make yourself at home

—How does it feel to be away from your family? But like, really really away -I ask her, nervous about the Jenny topic-

—It's hard Chris, harder than it seems. I wish I could just go back and spend time with them or bring them here, this place it's just... I mean, it's not home -she sighs, I feel bad-

—And how's your family? Are they okay?

—What do you mean?

—Well, after your cousin and the whole in-crisis-country thing

—Well, I wish they were better but what can I say... They're pretty tough and baddass. -she smiles nostalgically- anyways Chris, go straight to what you wanted to tell me

—Okay... Look, I know you probably think that I used you or something but I really want to let you know that I didn't and I wouldn't, I wouldn't use you or any woman over sex, that's just not me -she nods and motions me to keep going- this whole Jenny thing -I sigh- can I be completely honest with you? I also need someone to talk about this

—Sure, go ahead.

Is this a good idea Chris? I don't know, but I do need to talk to someone about this

—Well, the thing is I dated this girl named Jenny over more than a year, I was really in love with her but things started to change slowly, I haven't stopped loving her yet -she mumbles an "oh"- just that now I love her but in a different way. I'm not in love with her, I don't want to spend my life with her, now I... I love her as a friend.

—And you broke up over that, right?

—Yeah, we did. I didn't wanted to break up with her because I didn't want to hurt her, but I couldn't be selfish with myself, I can't be with someone I don't love

—And what happened between you two?

—Nothing wrong, there were discussions but like in any couple, nothing over the top, but I started looking at her differently, I neither didn't want to kiss her that much nor make love to her, I didn't want to spend time with her family even though they're amazing. I think our time was over and that's it, we lived what we had to and that's it

—It's better that way Chris, don't worry.

—The point is, Gabriela, I didn't used you, I don't want you to feel that way

—It's okay Chris, I don't feel that way, I believe you

I smiled and she smiled at me

—Can I stay the night? -I ask her-

—Ehh... why would you want to?

—I don't know, guess it's late to go home -I shrug, she laughs-

—Nice try, it's early, but you can stay