Destiny & Distance

101°

We wanted to keep things to ourselves as much as we could, and for a moment, we thought we would achieve it. I mean, nobody knew anything, we were keeping it all as low-key as possible—wasn't long enough until my daughter's birth was all over the news.

Articles, TV segments, magazines, social media. Everybody wanted to meet the daughter of one of Hollywood's sweethearts... And I wasn't too content with that, people all over the media are evil – most of them just want to point out flaws, they just won't care it's a newborn. When I started dating Chris, I was too naïve about the subject, I just thought it was exaggerated when celebrities talked about how much hate they received through social media, it wasn't until I lived it myself -just for being Chris' girlfriend- that I understood how true it was.

—I'm sorry, Gabbie. I know we talked about it, I thought we were achieving it. -Chris turns off the TV in front of us, I shrug-

—It's just incredible... How would they know?

—They probably paid someone in the hospital for information, a nurse, a doctor, who knows.

—Well, that sucks -I sigh- but we can't do much now. I just don't want our daughter's face to be all over the internet, I really don't want that, Chris -a rage of anger and protection aroused in me when I found out the world knew our daughter was born, I was being over protective-

Chris is sitting beside me with a laptop on his lap, our daughter is peacefully sleeping on her bouncer in front of us.

—Is it okay with you if I invite Brandon and Susan over? I mean, we're here in Boston and I miss them – I also want them to meet our daughter.

—Of course, baby -I smile at him- I could use Susan's company since my friends are in L.A

—Speaking of... I think we might have to stay here a little bit longer -he nervously says-

—But why? I thought we'd leave once Elle turns 1 month old.

He leans in to have another sip of juice, then looks back at me. I have not taken my eyes off of him.

—Because of Knives Out, it's going to be filmed here in Massachussets, so I thought it'd be better for us to be together, don't you think?

I feel like a bucket of iced water is being thrown at me. I do want to be with Chris, and I miss him when he's away working, but I'm eager for my dad and sister to meet Elle – and we agreed on going back to L.A in 2 weeks.

I stay silent, because I really don't know what to say. I should be happy because I get to be with Chris this time, but I'm so sad my family has to wait even more to meet Elle. Of course I'm not saying no, it'd be too selfish of me -I think-, of course Chris doesn't want to be away from his baby... But it doesn't feel fair, not when we agreed on something.

—You're not happy... -he says, sighing and looking away- look, I'm sorry, I just thought it was a good idea, you can go back to L.A anyways, just let me know the date and I'll book the flight.

He doesn't wait for an answer, he just stands up and leaves, leaving me speechless on the couch. I stare at a blank point analysing what just happened, I'm not angry or disappointed, I'm just sad – and he knows I wouldn't take a flight by myself with our daughter, I'm afraid of airplanes, I'm not a big fan of crowds, I don't want to have cameras all over my baby once I'm back in L.A, I don't want to get through that trip alone.

"What the fuck just happened to Chris?" I think as tears start to form in my eyes, my emotions -and hormones- taking over me, I decide not to fight the tears and just let them down. I wasn't ashamed of being seen because it's just Chris, Elle and I today, I don't know where's everybody, but I'm glad we're alone right now.