Destiny & Distance

109°

I was cleaning the kitchen after having a bowl of cereal when Sara called me saying how she wasn't ready to go to the police yet because she's too anxious on being out, as much as I think suing him was the best thing to do, I cannot push her to do things that might trigger her, we both looked up plane tickets online – when she said she'd board the first plane to Massachussets, she actually meant that, right now she's on a plane on her way here, Chris is supposed to pick her up from the airport on his way back home.

Now, somehow, the thought of seeing her made me nervous, anxious is beyond what I feel, and the time seems to go slower than ever. I sit on the couch with my baby in my arms as I turn on the MacBook, maybe some Netflix can help—I let Elle play with my fingers as she babbles and drools, as much as I keep cleaning her up, she always wins.

I took more than 2 episodes of Grey's Anatomy for Chris to text me, letting me know he's at the airport and that her flight arrived.

—You'll meet your auntie, Sara -I talk to Elle as stares at me- she's really crazy but I think she'll spoil you anytime... She got really excited when she found out about you. Auntie Sara might be feeling a little down right now, so make her laugh, okay?

Her blue eyes staring at me always made my heart skip a beat. To this day, I can't get over the fact that Chris and I made such a perfect human being.

After several minutes, almost an hour, Chris texted again, saying they were on his way here, so I stood up from the couch and started to walk through the entire house wondering what could I do. Maybe a coffee will do, but maybe she already had litters of it at the airport... She might be hungry, but maybe she'll prefer some takeout – my girl's cries interrupt my overthinking, I instantly go to her bedroom and change her diaper, then sit on the rocking chair to breastfeed her.

I hear steps coming and my heart rate starts to elevate. Please, Elle, eat fast – the door swings open, revealing my boyfriend and sister, her eyes widening at us.

—Oh my god -she says with a pout- look at her!! So cute, so tiny, so gorgeous -she walks to us without taking her eyes off Elle and starts caressing her cheek. Elle eye's start scanning the woman she's never seen before-

—I missed you -I say to her and that's when she looks at me, carefully giving me a side hug-

—I am sorry, she really caught my attention. Hi, sister, I've missed you too -she looks back at Elle- I can't believe I'm finally meeting her. I'm mesmerised.

I look back at the door to realise Chris had left the room, maybe he wanted us to have some privacy.

—How are you feeling? -I ask her-

—I don't know, after some hours I started to feel numb, but now that I'm looking at Elle... My heart is flooded.

I giggle at the cuteness and look down at my baby, her tiny hand on my boob as she looks up at her aunt.

—Oh, Elle, please hurry! I want to hold you already -Sara chirps excitedly-

Two knocks on the door caught our attention, Chris standing by the door with a smile plastered on his lips.

—I was taking Sara's suitcases upstairs -he informs- what would you like for dinner?

It's the littlest details that made me fall in love with him and the fact that he's such a gentleman. These kind of things keep on reminding me why I love him.

—I don't know, let's ask Sara -I look at her-

I knew that if I said I couldn't eat junk food, Sara would've backed off or would've probably said she'd cook something healthy.

—As basic bitch as this might sound, I'd prefer pizza -we all chuckle-

—Pizza it is. The same as usual? -Chris asks her and she nods- Alright, I'll be right back.

Sara's favourite food has always been pizza, and although I like it, sometimes I'd get bored of it. Unlike Sara, who could eat pizza daily and still want more.

Chris leaves the room again and as soon as Elle is finished, I hand her over to Sara and she starts helping her burp.

—Oh my god! So tiny and cute -she says in a whisper- this seems surreal. You having a baby, like, I used to play with you and dolls like yesterday – now you have a whole baby.

—I know, right? -I smile- I can't get over the fact that I actually am a mom. It is tiring, but at the same time, perfect.

—Are you two planning on having another kid?

—Woah, woah! Chill out! We've barely had Elle -I shake my head funnily, causing her to laugh-

—I'm just asking! I remember you used to say you wanted your kids to be contemporary

I reminisce for a moment when we were little and used to tell each other this whole life we had planned.

—Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted. But then I actually gave birth and... I just, the pain is unbearable, okay? I don't think I'm ready to go through that again – not now, not in 10 years.

My sister and I laugh along. Then I look at the whole scenario – my little sister holding my baby as my boyfriend is downstairs. Yes, might be a little too repetitive this thing I do, but I'm beyond thankful for the life I have and the persons surrounding me.

—Then start using contraceptives or you'll end up like Oriana having two kids almost instantly. -she jokes-

Oriana is or used to be one of her closest friends, and after she found out she was pregnant, everything went down. Not necessarily because something bad happened, just that Oriana was stressed out and busy or tired the whole time, she stopped visiting Sara at our house and it was understandable – then, when her baby was 3 or 4 months old, she found out she was pregnant again, and her family almost consumed her.

After talking for a while, we decided to join Chris at the living room only to find out he wasn't there – some minutes later, he came back looking fresh, with comfy clothes and wet hair.

—I needed that -he giggles-

—Too tired? -Sara asks-

—Kind of, yeah. Last three days have been tiring the shit out of me -he cracks a smile-

—And is it normal whenever you're filming a movie?

—Depends. Right now, it's odd, this movie is, by far, more... Relaxed? I don't know – what I mean is any Avengers movie has a lot of physical work, but I am prepped months before so I wouldn't get short of breath or anything... I think this one has been more tiring because I'm not exercising like I used to.

—And why is that? I remember you used to hit the gym all the time -Sara says, my daughter peacefully sleeping on her chest-

—Well, dear, now I have a daughter and I don't want to throw away my free time working out instead of being with my family -he cocks one eyebrow, causing Sara to giggle-

—You're absolutely right -she says-

The night wasn't as long as I thought it might be, as soon as the delivery guy arrived, we all ate and went to sleep. Both Chris and Sara were tired out, and hell I was drained out too, mainly emotionally and that made me feel tired.

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Hi! I know I'm taking longer than expected updating but if you only knew everything that's going on in my life at the moment, you'd understand. Anyways, I am sorry and I'll try to update as soon as possible🥺