Destiny & Distance

113°

—I've been wanting to go to this spa ever since I saw it, I feel like I have a lot of tension building up in my back and shoulders -I stretch out a bit-

My sister's holding Elle as they both play together, Chris is out working – or more like filming.

—Why haven't you?

—What? Am I supposed to ask Dodger to look over Elle?

Sara realises how stupid her question was and laughs, I just roll my eyes playfully.

—Well, you could've asked Lisa to look over Elle -she shrugs-

—She's already looked over Elle once, we were out for dinner when Chris' siblings were here, and I really don't want to bother her -I admit-

—I'm more than sure she'd love to spend more time with Elle

—I know that, I'm not saying otherwise. I just think it's unfair to just text her asking her to take care of my daughter, probably making her cancel her plans while I go out to get massages.

—Makes some sense. Anyways, now I'm here and you shouldn't think it's annoying for me to take care of Elle... If you want to go out to the salon and dye your hair, go to the nearest tattoo shop and get a permanent mark or just find that spa and receive a 3hr massage, I'll be here taking care of my gorgeous nice -she squeezes Elle's chubby cheek-

My eyes light up for a hot second, that massage has been a desire for some time now, being pregnant practically crushes your bone and muscle structure and carrying a heavy baby around with you also makes your back feel like it's trash. If there's something I could change about pregnancies, it's definitely how heavy your whole body feels.

—I'm considering it -I sheepishly say-

—Go! If I couldn't help you when Elle was a newborn, let me at least give you a hand when you want to do something that doesn't include her

—I'm getting excited -I squeal- I'm gonna go get that massage, but if something happens, just call me and I'll be here in no time, Sara

—Hush, stop being so annoying. Don't become that mom -Sara playfully rolls her eyes and I gasp-

—Oh my god. Am I becoming that mom?

—Maybe... Loosen up a bit, remember you're also a person and you also have a life other than breastfeeding Elle or something like that.

I nod, knowing she's right, but I also think she won't fully understand this until she becomes a mom – when you give birth to this tiny ball of innocence that depends on you, your life moves around them and you develop this feeling you've never felt before. It's out of this world and unexplainable, but I want to draw a line and not be that mom who's way too obsessed and dependent on what their children do/need, because as stupid as it sounds, I've witnessed how some women became dependent on their child, it's like they forget they're also an individual and will keep this behaviour even when their children are adults.

—I'm gonna take a shower and go. Probably calling an Uber, Chris has a spare car here but I haven't driven in a while, so I'm kind of nervous to even think about it

—Well, the steering wheel has never been your fort either -she jokes making me laugh-

I show her my middle finger and laugh, turning around to finally get ready to get that massage I've been needing for long.

The shower was quick due to the eagerness, I grab my phone to text Chris and let him know I'm going out and Elle's gonna be with my sister at home, he doesn't reply which means he must be busy, so I don't pay much attention to my phone after that. I grab a white tee and grey joggers along with white Nike sneakers, I saw this outfit on Instagram and though it doesn't look as good on me, it is extremely comfy. My phone chimes and I read Chris' message letting me know he just finished filming and that he'll be home in no time—I remember the post-its Chris keeps in his nightstand and grab it, writing down "I love you two with my whole soul :)" and sticking it to the portrait of the three of us that Chris framed last week, just hoping I make him smile when he reads it; it's these little details that matters.

I go downstairs and find Sara with a bouncy Elle, they're listening to Baby Shark. Oh god, here I come with that song.

—I'm ready, I already ordered an Uber and it says here it should arrive in 5 minutes. -I sit beside her, looking at the Baby Shark video that's running on her phone-

—I love this song -she says- shit, I thought out loud. It's really catchy, if you ask me -the sassiness in her tone made me chuckle-

—I am not ready to spend the next three years of my life listening to that song on loop, so please, show some variety. Amplify the musical range for my daughter.

—Thank you for saying that, I'll definitely make sure Elle loves Baby Shark. In fact, her 1st year birthday party will be Baby Shark themed, she'll love it! -she squeals, causing Elle to giggle-

—Sara, you're a dead woman -I shake my head, squinting my eyes at her- I'm just hoping you have kids, I'm gonna spoil them so much you'll end up hating me.

—Having kids is definitely not on the shortlist. What do I have Elle for?

—Hey, my daughter is mine. Get yourself your own daughter!

A notification lights up my phone's screen.

—Uber is here -I squeal excitedly- okay, okay, milk is on the freezer, you know where's her pacifier, she might take a nap around 5PM and if you can, bathe her before the nap! -I look down at my daughter and poke her nose- be good to your aunt, okay? Don't cry too much, but you may pee on her 'cause she wants to brainwash you with Baby Shark -I joke making my sister laugh- be good, Elle, love you so much -I kiss her chubby tiny hand- Now, Sara, call me if you need anything and I'll be back in no time, I'm serious -my sister rolls her eyes as I speak- I mean it! Anyways, thank you for this!

—Just go, woman!

I go outside and hop in the Uber, saying hi to the man driving it, he probably is in his mid-twenties. The drive to the spa is about 40min long, so I'm just hoping the guy is nice.

Instead of talking much, he just lets the radio sounds fill the car. I unlock my phone and send Chris the Ball 8 game through iMessage, hoping to kill my boredom until we get there, but he doesn't reply fast enough, so I lock my phone again. I, sitting down on the backseat, look up to the road and notice it's a very sunny day, but before I could even process, I look to my left and see the car crashing onto us.