{Chapter 1} Let's Pepper Spray the Life Out Of The Town Golden Boy

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Chapter 1- Pepper Spraying The Life Out Of The Towns Golden Boy

*Not Edited! Feel Free to Point Out Mistakes*
*WARNING* MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING.
Fayelynn

Chapter 1

Fayelynn Collins

Mother Theresa once said, “Loneliness and the feeling that nobody needs you is the worst kind of poverty.”

Well, then I’m stuck in the worst kind of poverty. Physically poor and the kind of poverty that Mother Theresa was talking about.

Right now, it’s me and nobody else in the world. Standing at the bathroom sink, razor in hand. Where is the rest of the world? I have no idea, because I am oblivious to them. I am oblivious to the rest of the world, instead I close my eyes, feeling the pain and adrenaline rush through me. Feeling the stress and the burden of the world leave my shoulders.

One cut for not being good enough

One for not being strong enough to quit doing this to yourself

One for being a disappointment to my parents

One for not being able to take care of Mikey.

Mikey, Mikey my brother, my little baby boy. He was the only thing keeping me hooked on the ground, the single thing saving me from two vertical slashes across my wrists. He needed me, so I wasn’t completely destitute. Not with Mikey with me and as long as I had him, I would tread the waters of this ocean a little longer, he was my life jacket. My savior.

“Hadley!” A voice bellowed and I froze.

No, no, no, no, no. He isn’t supposed to be home.

“Mikey, Mikey. Get up,” I woke Mikey from my bed, and he mumbled incoherently

“What Fayely? I’m tired,” He says, opening up his eyes.

“Let’s play hide and seek, Mikey-Ikey. Why don’t you go hide in the closet and I’ll come find you,” I suggest, wrapping him in a blanket and hiding him among the clothes in my closet.

“He’s home, isn’t he Fayely?” Tears welled up in his eyes and I couldn’t bear to see him cry, his tears stabbed me in the heart and that hurt more than any punch or kick ever could.

“Hadley!” He bellowed and Mikey shakes with fright

“No, we’re just playing a game for a while,” I lie bluntly, but my brother is smart and he doesn’t buy it but doesn’t protest, knowing the dangers to that.

“Hadley!” The voice bellows again and I creep down the stairs. He isn’t yelling my name, he’s yelling my mothers and that’s worse. I was always told I look just like my mother. It didn’t help me any in this case, no, it made everything worse.

His head turned and he saw me.

“Hadley you…” He pounces at me, but I dodge it. Drunkenly, he stumbles to the ground and catches his fall. He just looks up into my eyes.

“Hadley, Hadley, Hadley… why did you have to leave? Hadley, Hadley. I love you, Hadley. Won’t you come back? I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He slurs, slumping against the wall.

So today he’s a sad drunk, tomorrow he’ll be an angry one.

“Come, let’s get you to bed.” I say, grabbing him by the arm and he hauls up.

“Hadley… you’re always taking care of me. So good to me. I love you so much baby, I love you and our daughter…” he slurs some more, tears escaping his eyes. “And our son.”

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