The Stoic And The Beast

What's Wrong With Me?

Alicia's POV

I made my way back to Luke's room. Slamming the door behind me and locking it. I slid down the door as he began knocking gently at it with his fist and begging me to let him in.

"Alicia, please open the door. Can we talk about this?"

"How can you still want to share me with him, Luke? How could you ask me to make more room in my heart for Jake?" I sobbed.

I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. I was hyperventilating between the relentless sobs. My throat burned and my eyes began to swell. I pulled myself from the door and ran toward my pile of clothes. I tripped as I kicked the corner of the bedpost. Landing flat on the floor with a loud thud and I cried out in pain. It felt like I had broken my toe on the unforgiving massive bedpost.

"Alicia! What was that? What's happening? Please let me in!"

He was now banging on the door. He used the full force of his body to push the door open. His eyes grew wide with horror when he found me lying on the floor in the fetal position clutching at my foot. He ran to my side and scooped me up. He sat me on the edge of his bed as I protested. I was so angry with him. My heart couldn't handle this amount of confusion. I just sat there crying from the anger building inside me and also from the pain in my foot.

"Please, tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours Alicia." He quietly said.

I shot up from the bed and limped over to my pile of clothes. I began gathering them in my arms as I started yelling.

"I'll tell you! If you really wanna know Luke! I love you so much my heart is full to the point of bursting. How can I possibly imagine being capable of loving Jake too! How can there be room for you both?" I screamed as I shoved my feet into my jeans and pulled them up.

He sat on the edge of his bed, respectfully looking down at the floor instead of gawking at my half-naked body as I dressed. He raked his hand through his hair as he shook his head.

"I don't know." He whispered. "I'm sorry I asked you to do that. Your right. It's a bad idea."

"You were willing to share me with another guy five minutes ago Luke!"

More tears flooded down my cheeks when the realization hit me that maybe he didn't love me as much as I thought he did. How could he love me but be willing to let me be with someone else? I pulled my shirt over my head and then my hoodie. I limped over to him. Stopping a foot away from his guilt-stricken face. A thought entered my mind but before I could even think it through properly, I blurted it out.

"I'm going to do exactly what you want. I'm going to go on that date with Jake. Just like you asked me to. If Jake tries to sleep with me, I won't stop him. I'll fuck his brains out. Happy now?"

I stood facing him with my fists clenched. I wanted to see the look on his face when he realizes the impact of his request could mean I will actually be with somebody besides him. His face crumpled just before he hid them behind his hands. His shoulders shook as he turned away from me not saying a word.

"This is what you wanted Luke. Tomorrow you will come to have dinner with my family and me. Then you will hand me over to your best friend. I might have a good time with him or maybe I won't. When the date is over with I will tell you everything. Then we will tell Jake everything too."

Luke whipped his bloodshot eyes toward mine. He stared at me blinking and wiping his tears away with fear strewn across his face. It could be because he was afraid he'd lose me or possibly it was because I threatened to come clean to Jake about us. Either way, I wanted this dumb situation over with. And the sooner the better.