The Stoic And The Beast

Judgment And Jealousy

Alicia's POV

I woke the next morning tucked safely under Jake's arm to the soft glow of a pink and orange sunrise peeking through the tiny window of my hospital room. I couldn't help laying there staring at the peaceful expression on Jake's face as he slept. His lips were parted as he breathed in and out so deeply. Just as I instinctually moved my hand to tuck his bangs away from his forehead he spoke. Startling me.

"What are you doing? Are you watching me sleep?" The corners of his lips curled up showing off his dimples. One of his eyes popped open to glance at me.

"Umm.. no. I wasn't." I lied.

"Don't lie princess." He said in a sleepy rough voice.

"I wasn't." I lied again.

"You are. I can tell because your ears turn red when you lie." He smiled as he spoke.

I covered my ears and protested.
"They do not!" I squeaked.

"If you don't believe me then why are you covering them?" He asked playfully while he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and kissed me on my nose.

I jumped from the bed, grabbed the pillow and hit him with it before he had a chance to shield himself.

"Hey, quit that!" He swatted the pillow away ending my assault by the second blow.

He looked irritated by my playful choice to have a pillow fight. Did I make a mistake thinking he was in a playful mood? Maybe he isn't a morning person. I stood there stunned as I cast my eyes down and slowly picked the pillow up off of the floor that lay at my feet.

"Sorry." I muttered under my breath.

I squeezed the pillow in my grasp. Seconds later Jake was pulling it from my hands. He tossed it back on the bed and in an instant he was pulling me by my elbows into his chest and kissing me. I didn't kiss him back. I didn't understand what was happening right now. His sudden mood swings had me confused. He pulled away once he noticed my apprehension.

"What's wrong?" He asked with furrowed brows.

"N.. nothing." I stuttered. Afraid to look him in the eye.

He gripped my chin and lifted it so my eyes would meet his. I tried looking away. I don't know what this is. What transpired between us just now?

"Did I upset you babe?"

"I umm.. no. I thought that... I had upset you." I admitted honestly.

"What? No! Oh geez.. I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong. It's just that..." he raked his fingers through his hair and plopped down on the edge of the bed. "It reminded me of my mom. We used to.." he stopped talking.

I had a good idea what he would have said if he finished his sentence. He would have told me that what I just did with the pillow reminded him of his mother. Maybe they used to have pillow fights. Did I just bring back a painful memory? There are so many locked doors in Jake's life that I still know nothing about. I just accidentally opened another one. He is complicated. He is dark, brooding, devilishly handsome and oh so frustrating but I wouldn't change a thing about him. If he possessed one less snippet of attitude, he wouldn't be the Jake that I love so much.

"Me and my mom used to do that when I was little." He looked down at his feet.

I instantly moved between his legs at his words. He opened up to me. He felt he could trust me with a little more of his past. My heart melted for him. He pulled me down into his lap and hugged me.

"I'm sorry. I know I reacted poorly about it, babe. I'll try to do better next time."

My arms wrapped around his neck. There was sadness in his eyes. I knew no amount of happiness lighting his life would ever take it away. I knew that feeling. Losing a parent. Well, I lost both and nothing can ever fully heal that wound. So I wholeheartedly understood that look in his eyes.