The Stoic And The Beast

They Come And Go In Dreams

Alicia's POV

After a couple of hours of browsing online for apartments, the three of us had narrowed down the listings to five possible locations. Each matched my price range and location requirements. They each had two bedrooms, personal washer and dryer hookup, and security systems. We decided to look at a couple of them tomorrow before I was to visit Tyler's house for dinner. I also needed to stop by my job to talk to Jay about picking up more hours.

Jake and Luke both said it wasn't necessary, that they'd help cover some of the utility costs but being the stubborn woman that I am, I refused. I wanted to do this on my own. Things between the three of us were becoming a more fluid and natural feeling. I was becoming less and less hesitant to pay each one special attention in front of the other. It still felt strange but they made it seem normal and never made me feel pressured. It was so late in the night that Jake wound up crashing on Luke's sofa while I went with Luke to his room.

"Alicia, I brought the pregnancy tests with me. If you're ready to try one." He said while scratching at the back of his neck.

He walked over and sat in the corner of the bed. His eyes were trained on me. He watched me closely while he waited for my answer. I nodded my head in agreement. We should get it out of the way. Not knowing was wearing me down.

"There's one in here that says you can get an accurate result before your missed period. The clerk said to try that one first." He said softly.

I kinda got the feeling he was afraid to push me or tell me what to do. I know he's excited. Part of me is so afraid of being pregnant. While the other part of me is ecstatic to make Luke a father. Maybe its selfish of me to wish for that but he isn't exactly hoping I'm not pregnant either.

"We should do this."

I gave him a tight smile as I walked over to sit down next to him.

"Should we talk about this first? Before you take the test?" He asked while pulling the box from the paper bag.

He sat there turning the box over and over in his hands while staring down at it.

"Talk about what?" I questioned.

"Well... About what you want to do if you are pregnant." His voice was shaky. Like he was afraid of what I would say in response.

Truthfully I didn't know what to say. What would my options be? I sat there quietly while thinking.

"Sweetheart, what I mean is, would you want to keep the baby or give it away or... or have an abortion?" He said that last word way too slowly. I made my stomach lurch.

No way. I don't think I could have an abortion or give the baby away. I'm not opposed to people making those sorts of decisions. To each of their own life choices. That's how I feel about it. But given my circumstances, I know those choices aren't for me. I'd keep the baby.

"Luke, I would keep the baby. If that's also what you want. It's partly your decision too you know." I stated with my voice calm and straightforward.

Luke turned toward me and smiled.

"I'd want to keep the baby too." He kissed my forehead and then handed me the box.

"Want me to go in there with you love?" He asked.

"Umm... No. I'll go do the test and then come back out. We will wait together. Okay?" I said while staring into his huge green eyes.

I stood up and walked toward the bathroom with the box in my hand. I stopped and turned to look back at him.