When there's only me and you - Tyrus

Cyrus - Chapter Tweanty three

they were screaming downstairs all four of them fighting over something, my headphones didn't go up loud enough to block them out so I pretended they did, I pretended I couldn't hear them yell about me,

there all accusing each other of raising me wrong

I place my hand down on my warm stomach felling the small lines that ran across my hip bones the faded scars of a broken past, something about tracing my fingers over the six lines made me feel better like I had survived worse, I had after all, the headlines made that one very clear, if I could redo time I would erse those days forever.

'local boy Cyrus Freeman found in Dan Akers basement' the headlines had screamed for weeks they never cared what the man had done to me in the basement just that I had been found and he was arrested,

the feeling of my classmates eyes on me burned

'they pity you' I thought, I knew it was true at the time I thought after all that no one saw me as anything other than the poor used boy.

the shouted quiet and I walked over to my desk opening the top drawer pulling out the dark oak wool box brushing off the top and pull out the paper.

Dear TJ

thank you for not pitying me

Cyrus kippen

the first words had been passed to him in class when I saw him glance over at me wasn't pity it was something else entirely,

Cyrus, I don't pity you because I was worried about you,

TJs handwrite was so neat each letter in each word carefully printed out,

what do you mean,

at the time I was so scared of upsetting him that I did everything to stay in the right spot I had seen what he could do

don't worry about it,

the words on the pages didn't seem like that much not to anyone else but I loved to exaim TJ handwriting and the little doodles that he had drawn beside each of his little notes, I carefully put the crumpled up note on the piles of paper in the oak box then I pulled out the letter,

it was a thin white envelope with my loopy handwriting spelling out TJs name on the front, I had never given him the letter it was pointless now but I couldn't tare it up, something within me wouldn't let me.

Dear TJ Kippen,

to be one hundred percent honest with you, since I don't believe you'll see this letter until after I'm gone I really like you, like when you smile not one of those ones you give to the teachers or to the other team your playing, your real one. my heart almost stops and I can't breathe for a second when you wrap your arm around my shoulder after games my stomick fluids with butterflies and I can't seem to form sentences properly.

your so real TJ out of everyone in my life I can say you are the most real, you see every so often I get this thought that one day I will wake up and someone I was friends with or love would have never existed like I had dreamed them up, but even in my wildest dreams I could not make you up, your a real jerk and I mean that in the best way, your somewhat selfish and you never seem to understand how much you have control over me but you are so careful with young kids and you have these huge blue eyes that always light up after a game, and others say that your terrible to your team but they seem to care about you none the less.

then again I think once people get to know you they warm up, and you look so good with your shirt off, this summer was such a struggle to through,

I promise I'm not running away from home because of you, or how you almost kissed me that night in the pool house at masons party, or because of I'm pretty sure you were way to drunk to remember anything,

I'm leaving because I'm so done with people pitying me I want the freedom no longer tied to that horrid man, I wasn't waiting to be married or anything but I thought my first time would be with someone I cared about not some man ripping off my sweater and jeans and pulling at my hair. I want him gone from everything no longer mentions no pitying eyes.

But TJ kippen I like you, not just because your Tj but because you are so much more than that,

from

Cyrus,

"Hey babe," TJ startles me as he climbs through my bedroom window,

"you know my house has a perfectly functional front door," I joke but then I hear them again,

"I didn't think they would hear," TJ sits down next to me as I shove the letter to the bottom of the box I don't think he sees, I know one day I'll show him, one day I'll tell him of my plan to run away, but that's not today not as he pulls me back into his arms,

"they've been like this since I got home from the hospital, my dad seems to think I should move in with him because if my mom had made me stay home I wouldn't have been out so late," I explained

"I don't think that would have changed it what so ever, if it hadn't been us it might have been someone else," TJ mutters and I know he's right, but if we hadn't been out TJ wouldn't have been so injured on the brink of death, "don't blame your self," he whispers into my hair because somehow he's has always been able to read me like a book.

"going somewhere," TJ sat on the edge of Ambers roof one of his legs dangled down over the garage the other was bent and pulled close to his chest I hadn't seen him when I exited my house, it was almost midnight I hadn't really expected anyone to be hiding on rooftops,

"No," I lied

"Goodman, you are the worst liar, and how do you explain being out at midnight, your, not a night dweller," TJ rolled his eyes pushing himself up and walking over to the fence and hopping down to ambers driveway there are no cars in the driveway but I can see a small light on in the house,

"what are you doing out here," I ask but Ive almost answered my own question I can smell cigarettes on his breath,

"ambers mum doesn't like it when I smoke in the house," he shrugs everyone knew TJ smoked he was the only 8th grader who did, normally he would hang out in front of the school with one in his mouth after school before his father would show up,

"Why do you smoke anyways," I asked trying to distract him and because I really did want to know why,

"because my father hates it," he shrugs TJs father who kept running off I guess if one of my parents were like that I would act out to but smoking was bad for you

"I don't think that's a good reason," I mumble as he pulled out his pack, placing a long white cigarette between his teeth but he doesn't pull out a lighter.

"neither it's running away yet where both here, dark of night, at least mine isn't permanent" he then takes the cigarette out of his teeth and throws it to the ground, but he turns away climbing back on the roof, "you know your letting the bastard win if you leave your life behind, my advice don't let people who upset you win,"

with thoughs words he was back inside through the open window I hadn't seen, I see ambers blond hair through the same window

"ill work on it," I smile at him and he brushes my messy hair back and kisses my forehead so I take him by the neck and kiss him because I love him and I need him to know.

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Guess who's back me I know not very exciting I am stressed and tired but I finished this one

Over my winter break I started a couple chapters and yesterday I scraped all of them exactly this one because they where all really shitty and poorly worded so yeah this was sorta filler and explains a plot point I meant to put in ages ago then didn't because I had other plans but I need to fix that

So I hope you enjoyed this or tolerated it until I get back on my game to wright so yeah

Anyways until next time
-broken