The Land of the Samurai ; 侍の国 (Gintama x Reader)

Milk Should Be Served At Body Temperature

It was quite early in the morning when Gintoki had called you, claiming that there was an 'emergency' at the snack house. Being the good friend you were, you hurried out of your house and hurried over to see what the situation was. Now, you weren't going to lie-you haven't gone on a run in a while. When you arrived, you felt like your lungs were going to collapse.

"I'm here!" you slid the door open with so much force that it detached from the original hold. "Like a normal person... whoops," you looked up and saw the gang sitting in the booths and the by the bar. Your eyes trailed towards Gintoki-in his arms, there was a child. "...Absolutely not."

"Hey, hey! Don't get the wrong idea. This is not my kid. He was left in a basket in front of the shop. You think I'm that heartless to just leave a poor baby alone in the cold?" Despite his claim that he wasn't the father, the baby boy had such familiar features to the adult; for example, the curly silver-hair and the dead fish like eyes.

You pursed your lips and approached the two. You leaned down to examine the child, looking at him very closely. The kid didn't make any sound, but instead, lifted his arms up towards you. "Oh!" you took this as a sign that he wanted you to hold him. And so, you carefully lifted him into your arms. "There is certainly an uncanny resemblance between you two. But... he's so cute! Unlike a certain someone," you cleared your throat.

"Was that aimed towards me? Hey! Answer me!"

"Aww, look at you," the baby didn't cry or anything-he just stared at you with a blank face. "Wow, he's exactly like you, Gintoki."

"He seems to like you, [name]-san," Shinpachi stood up to stand by your side. "He's even holding onto your clothes tightly."

"It's my turn!" Kagura excitedly exclaimed. You handed her the child and she lifted him up towards the ceiling. Almost immediately, the baby whined. "Oh, this is bad. He's getting cranky."

"Did he poop in his pants or what?" Catherine asked.

"It doesn't look like it. He just wants some milk," Shinpachi deduced. "Someone! Does anyone have breast milk?"

Kagura began to unbutton her top," Let me try. I feel like some might come out now." You grabbed her hand to stop her from undressing herself.

"No way! Why are you bringing out your motherly instincts all of a sudden?!"

Catherine rubbed her stomach, "It might come out of mine. In fact, I've had an upset stomach since yesterday."

"That's not where milk's made! That's called diarrhoea!" Shinpachi then turned over to you, he didn't ask you outright, but he silently questioned whether or not...

"Uh-" It wasn't just Shinpachi looking at you now, Catherine and Kagura were waiting for your answer. "Hey, now. Don't you guys look at me like that. I get that I should have a kid at my age now, but that is no reason to target me like this!"

"Give him to me," Kagura handed the baby to Otose who had a milk bottle ready in her hands.

"He's drinking."

"He really is."

"Wow, he's sucking really well! It's like he's real!" 

"Kagura," you raised an eyebrow, "you literally just held him. Of course the baby's real."

"Wait! Let me try it, too!" Kagura pushed Gintoki out of the way to get a closer look.

"You're too young! Come back in a hundred years!"

"These days, men can take better care of babies!"

"Leave it to me as the old woman! Old woman are really good at this kind of thing."