The Land of the Samurai ; 侍の国 (Gintama x Reader)

Please Help by Separating Your Trash

A normal morning as anyone would call it. Nothing out of the ordinary, the same dog in the room, the same blue couches in the main room, and just a head with green hair on the table- Wait. "Kagura... What is that?" the Yato was fiddling around with it, pressing its eyes and pulling the hair.

"I found it outside," she then got an egg from the kitchen. "Look, it's an egg-cracker."

"That's not it..."

"I'm going to wake up Gin-chan. It's breakfast time." She left the room and left you by yourself with the head. You decided to ignore it; even if it stuck out like a sore thumb. Grabbing some bowls and chopsticks from the kitchen, you set the table. Kagura came out of the room with sunglasses on her head; she was quite giddy as well.

"Don't do that again!" a properly dressed Gintoki came from his bedroom.

"What did you do to him, Kagura?"

"Just a little prank."

"Geez! No wonder I have such terrible dreams."

"Let's eat," you and Kagura simultaneously said.

"What kind of dream did you have?"

"A dismembered head... Never mind. They say never to talk about the dreams you see while sleeping or awake. I'd only be a laughingstock."

Kagura asked, "A dismembered head at the trash disposal area?"

"How did you..."

"You were having a nightmare," she threw an egg up and down in one hand. "You're too old to be having nightmares like a little kid."

"Don't tell Shinpachi, okay? I'll give you 300¥."

"You probably don't even have that much," Gintoki gave you a look; you then asked him, "What were you doing at the trash disposal area anyways?"

"I don't remember anything before I went to sleep."

Kagura answered for him, "You went to the trash disposal area to get your JUMP. You didn't come back, so I went to check and found you asleep in the trash," the girl cracked an egg on the head once again.

"Kagura-chan... Kagura-chan... What is that?"

She giggled and held the object up, "An egg cracker! I found it yesterday."

"No, no, no, no, no. Nooooo! That's no egg cracker! It's that dismembered head from yesterday! Y-You! I wasn't dreaming! Why did you take that thing, you dummy?! And why are you taking it so casually?! This is not normal!"

"It's not a dismembered head. It's an egg cracker."

"I didn't know how to react so... I'm treating it like we've always had it," you diverted your gaze away from him. "Also, Kagura, I don't think you actually understand. It's not-"

"But! Eggs are something you want to crack over someone's head. But that would be rude. So now I have this!" She swung an egg into the green head and it flew across the room.

"No! Absolutely not! Go and put it back! Put it back where it was!"

"No! That's my egg cracker! I'm not letting you have it!"

"That's enough! If anyone around here sees that thing...!"

"...You guys! Sadaharu..." the dog held the head by the hair and wouldn't let go of it.

The three of you then pushed the dog out of the front door, "Sadaharu, please don't do that. That's not a toy. Okay? Let me have it. I'll give you beef jerky."